0 00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:13,000 Downloaded from xPau.se 1 00:00:50,552 --> 00:00:52,095 BRAD: Here's a question for you. 2 00:00:52,178 --> 00:00:56,099 What do kids need more? A father or a dad? 3 00:00:56,391 --> 00:00:57,726 What's the difference? 4 00:00:58,059 --> 00:01:00,562 The way I see it, darn near anyone can be a father... 5 00:01:00,645 --> 00:01:01,645 (ROARING) 6 00:01:01,688 --> 00:01:04,357 ...but not everyone has the patience or the devotion to be a dad. 7 00:01:04,733 --> 00:01:05,734 As for me... 8 00:01:05,817 --> 00:01:07,026 Anybody caught a Monarch yet? 9 00:01:07,152 --> 00:01:08,903 ...I've always wanted to be a dad. 10 00:01:08,987 --> 00:01:11,573 Let me tell you, I love it! 11 00:01:11,656 --> 00:01:12,657 Yeah! 12 00:01:12,824 --> 00:01:13,992 (ALL CHEERING) 13 00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:15,493 And I love my Ford Flex. 14 00:01:15,994 --> 00:01:18,329 It treats me to a smooth ride, and you know what? 15 00:01:18,413 --> 00:01:19,664 It didn't break the bank. 16 00:01:20,206 --> 00:01:22,208 Room enough for the whole family. 17 00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:24,502 Yes, I love being a dad. 18 00:01:25,462 --> 00:01:29,048 And I love these two adorable little rays of sunshine. 19 00:01:31,009 --> 00:01:32,469 Hey, Dylan! Good morning. 20 00:01:32,552 --> 00:01:33,553 Whatever. 21 00:01:34,554 --> 00:01:36,765 BRAD: Okay. I'm not their real dad. 22 00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:38,516 Good morning, Mr. Whitaker. 23 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,727 - I'm their stepdad. - Good morning, Megan. 24 00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:42,479 Can you please put this on the fridge? 25 00:01:42,896 --> 00:01:46,691 Well, sure. Did you do another drawing of our family? 26 00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:48,234 - Uh-huh. - Huh? 27 00:01:48,318 --> 00:01:51,488 That's me and Dylan and Mommy. 28 00:01:51,696 --> 00:01:52,696 So great. 29 00:01:52,739 --> 00:01:55,742 And over here, far, far away, 30 00:01:56,326 --> 00:01:57,326 is you. 31 00:01:57,368 --> 00:02:00,205 Oh? And am I wearing a baseball cap? 32 00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:03,875 That's the knife in your head 'cause I was killing you in the eye. 33 00:02:04,584 --> 00:02:05,668 Oh, I see. 34 00:02:05,752 --> 00:02:07,378 Well, I love how you drew my hair. 35 00:02:08,046 --> 00:02:09,214 That's poop. 36 00:02:09,881 --> 00:02:12,550 Well, it's well-drawn. And I'm guessing it's dog poop? 37 00:02:12,759 --> 00:02:14,302 That's homeless man poop. 38 00:02:14,385 --> 00:02:15,386 Oh. 39 00:02:16,638 --> 00:02:17,639 All right. (SIGHING) 40 00:02:18,598 --> 00:02:20,767 BRAD: I actually can't father my own children, 41 00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:23,520 ever since I hit a little snafu at a dental office. 42 00:02:23,895 --> 00:02:26,105 (MUFFLED) I've got a little bit of a gag reflex. 43 00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:27,982 Uh, close your eyes, breathe through your nose, you'll be fine. 44 00:02:28,066 --> 00:02:29,234 Oh. Okay. 45 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,902 (INHALES DEEPLY) 46 00:02:32,904 --> 00:02:34,405 (MACHINE SQUEAKING) 47 00:02:34,906 --> 00:02:35,990 (BEEPS) 48 00:02:36,699 --> 00:02:39,577 Oh, you got a really weird tongue. You need to floss better. 49 00:02:39,702 --> 00:02:41,371 BRAD: Ever since then, my testicles have been 50 00:02:41,454 --> 00:02:43,081 more decorative than anything else. 51 00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:44,207 Hey! 52 00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:46,459 And I thought I'd never have a family. 53 00:02:46,751 --> 00:02:50,004 Until I met a stunning mom named Sara. 54 00:02:51,089 --> 00:02:52,423 Would you look at her? 55 00:02:52,674 --> 00:02:55,844 I am one lucky so-and-so. I hit the jackpot. 56 00:02:56,094 --> 00:02:57,178 - Hi. - Hi. 57 00:02:57,262 --> 00:02:58,930 Sorry I'm taking so long. 58 00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:01,413 I have to show that Sixty West building to those new clients. 59 00:03:01,474 --> 00:03:02,475 - I know. - (GASPS) 60 00:03:02,559 --> 00:03:05,228 - Oh, my God! The kids' lunches. - Already packed. I wrote them 61 00:03:05,311 --> 00:03:07,689 little inspirational notes to start them on their day. 62 00:03:07,856 --> 00:03:10,256 They've already eaten their breakfasts, and you look perfect. 63 00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:12,068 You are amazing. 64 00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:15,947 Look at this, huh? Another family drawing. 65 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:18,074 Oh, no. I am so sorry. 66 00:03:18,157 --> 00:03:20,743 No, I think you're misunderstanding. This is the first drawing 67 00:03:20,827 --> 00:03:22,912 where I'm not dead already. 68 00:03:23,538 --> 00:03:25,415 Sure, I've got a knife in my eye 69 00:03:25,498 --> 00:03:27,208 and some homeless man poop on my head, 70 00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:30,628 (SIGHING) but this is showing real progress. 71 00:03:30,712 --> 00:03:32,630 I think she's starting to accept me. 72 00:03:32,755 --> 00:03:34,757 You can find the good in just about anything. 73 00:03:34,841 --> 00:03:37,093 I love that about you. You know that? 74 00:03:37,427 --> 00:03:38,553 Thanks. 75 00:03:38,636 --> 00:03:40,054 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 76 00:04:25,975 --> 00:04:28,019 Hello. I'm home. 77 00:04:29,354 --> 00:04:30,355 Hey. 78 00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:32,106 How was the, uh... 79 00:04:34,651 --> 00:04:35,652 What's wrong? 80 00:04:35,735 --> 00:04:38,016 He won't talk to me. He said he only wants to talk to you. 81 00:04:39,614 --> 00:04:40,657 You want to talk to me? 82 00:04:40,740 --> 00:04:42,200 - Really? - Mmm-hmm. 83 00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:44,035 - You mean me and your mom? - Mmm-mmm. 84 00:04:44,118 --> 00:04:45,828 - Just me? By myself? - Mmm-hmm. 85 00:04:45,912 --> 00:04:47,413 Sure. I'm... 86 00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:51,125 I'm totally free. Let's go to the den. We'll sit there. 87 00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:53,544 We'll sit. We can do it sitting or standing? 88 00:04:54,170 --> 00:04:55,838 Doesn't matter. We're just gonna do it. 89 00:04:56,172 --> 00:04:58,883 We're not gonna overthink it. Yeah. Great. Okay, good. 90 00:04:59,676 --> 00:05:04,013 Just the men, yeah. A little rap session. Great. 91 00:05:04,681 --> 00:05:05,848 (WHISPERING) Oh, my God. 92 00:05:07,767 --> 00:05:11,020 I just want you to know that I'm just here to listen. All right? 93 00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:15,024 No judgments, no lectures, just a compassionate ear. 94 00:05:15,942 --> 00:05:18,236 - Well, there are these kids at school... - Mmm-hmm. 95 00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:20,488 ...and they're bigger than me, because they're fourth graders. 96 00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:22,407 - (SHUTTER CLICKING) - And... 97 00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:25,868 Oh, was that weird? 98 00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:27,829 I'm sorry, I'm just... 99 00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:31,416 It's a big moment for me, and I'm just trying to capture it. 100 00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:32,834 It just came off awkward. 101 00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:36,879 So, go ahead, continue telling your story. Fourth graders. 102 00:05:37,130 --> 00:05:39,132 Anyway, there are these fourth graders, and... 103 00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:40,925 He actually confided in me. 104 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:44,262 I mean, it was that father-son feeling I've been dying for, 105 00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:47,056 and it was even better than I thought it was gonna be. 106 00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:50,143 (SIGHS) I mean, he really needed me. Me. 107 00:05:50,226 --> 00:05:51,436 That is so great, honey. 108 00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:52,812 He even said not to tell you. 109 00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:56,524 So I'm actually totally betraying his trust right now. (CHUCKLES) 110 00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,818 What are we gonna do about those little snot-nosed fourth graders? 111 00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:00,361 Oh, I think it's going to be fine. 112 00:06:00,445 --> 00:06:03,948 He's going to try to do some trust falls on the playground. 113 00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:05,616 Really? You think that's gonna work? 114 00:06:05,742 --> 00:06:07,869 As long as they catch him. Yeah. 115 00:06:07,994 --> 00:06:08,995 Hey, Brad. 116 00:06:09,454 --> 00:06:10,455 Yeah? 117 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:13,666 If I ask you something, you promise you won't cry again? 118 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,501 Of course, sweetie. What is it? 119 00:06:15,585 --> 00:06:18,296 Well, at school, they told us about this thing, 120 00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:20,131 and it's called a Daddy-Daughter Dance. 121 00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:21,799 (GASPING) 122 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:23,760 So, do you want to go with me? 123 00:06:23,843 --> 00:06:25,136 (SOBBING) 124 00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:26,929 You said you wouldn't cry, Brad. 125 00:06:27,180 --> 00:06:30,850 I'm not. Megan, yes. A million times yes. 126 00:06:31,142 --> 00:06:33,061 I thought big people weren't supposed to cry. 127 00:06:33,144 --> 00:06:35,938 I think it's sweet that he's crying like a little bitch. 128 00:06:36,022 --> 00:06:37,315 (GASPS) Megan! 129 00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:39,198 You are not supposed to call people that word. 130 00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:42,528 You know what? It takes a real man to show his emotions. 131 00:06:42,612 --> 00:06:44,197 (SOBBING LOUDLY) 132 00:06:45,698 --> 00:06:47,200 All right, that's a bit much. 133 00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,869 VIZZINI: No more rhymes now, I mean it! 134 00:06:50,161 --> 00:06:51,412 FEZZIK: Anybody want a peanut? 135 00:06:51,496 --> 00:06:52,997 (ALL LAUGHING) 136 00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:57,043 BRAD: We were finally becoming a family. 137 00:06:57,502 --> 00:06:58,586 - (PHONE RINGING) - I'll get it! 138 00:06:58,669 --> 00:07:01,506 After being pushed away and treated like an outsider, 139 00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:04,300 I was finally becoming the dad that I always knew I could... 140 00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:05,510 Daddy! 141 00:07:06,052 --> 00:07:08,221 Hi! Where are you? 142 00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:10,056 Where's Cameroon? 143 00:07:10,181 --> 00:07:12,183 Is that gunfire? Cool! 144 00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:14,519 MEGAN: Daddy, Daddy! I want to talk to Daddy. 145 00:07:15,728 --> 00:07:16,729 Hi, Daddy. 146 00:07:17,021 --> 00:07:18,022 Good. 147 00:07:18,231 --> 00:07:20,066 - So your ex is calling, huh? - (SIGHS) Yeah. 148 00:07:20,191 --> 00:07:22,985 What a treat for the kids. It's been a long time. 149 00:07:23,069 --> 00:07:24,195 - Yeah. - Yeah. 150 00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:27,406 We're watching a really funny movie with Mommy and Brad. 151 00:07:28,032 --> 00:07:29,534 Oh, Brad is Mommy's new husband. 152 00:07:29,909 --> 00:07:31,577 Wait. He doesn't know about me? 153 00:07:31,911 --> 00:07:34,413 Well, I haven't talked to him in six months. 154 00:07:34,705 --> 00:07:35,985 We've been married eight months. 155 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,834 Brad, Daddy wants to talk to you. 156 00:07:38,084 --> 00:07:40,324 - No! No, no. Don't, don't... - I'm just going to say hi. 157 00:07:40,378 --> 00:07:41,938 You don't need to do that. Brad, don't. 158 00:07:41,963 --> 00:07:43,714 (CLEARS THROAT) Thank you, sweetie. 159 00:07:44,257 --> 00:07:46,759 Hello, Dusty? Super to make your acquaintance. 160 00:07:47,552 --> 00:07:49,303 In fact, I just wish I could shake your hand 161 00:07:49,387 --> 00:07:51,556 and offer to buy you a cold one. 162 00:07:52,223 --> 00:07:53,641 - Tomorrow? - What? 163 00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:55,852 BOTH: Daddy's coming! Yay! 164 00:07:56,561 --> 00:07:58,081 Oh, yeah, I guess I could pick you up. 165 00:07:58,521 --> 00:07:59,605 - (WHISPERS) No. - Hmm? 166 00:07:59,939 --> 00:08:01,065 It's Whitaker. 167 00:08:01,274 --> 00:08:05,945 W-H-I-T-A-K-E-R. (CHUCKLES) 168 00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:07,530 No, I'm not comfortable giving you 169 00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:09,213 my Social Security number over the phone. 170 00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:13,494 Uh, okay, yeah, my credit score is 752. 171 00:08:13,578 --> 00:08:14,704 I'm very proud of that. (CHUCKLES) 172 00:08:14,787 --> 00:08:18,249 I'm sorry? What sort of fighting styles am I proficient in? 173 00:08:19,083 --> 00:08:20,543 I don't know if I've ever been asked that before. 174 00:08:20,793 --> 00:08:23,004 Hello, Dusty, hello, hello? Hmm... 175 00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:25,464 I lost him. 176 00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,996 What just happened? Did you just invite him to come here? 177 00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:29,594 Is he coming tomorrow? 178 00:08:29,886 --> 00:08:31,387 Well, I didn't know he'd accept my offer so soon. 179 00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:33,347 I mean, he really jumped at it. 180 00:08:33,431 --> 00:08:35,933 Remember when I said he was like Jesse James 181 00:08:36,017 --> 00:08:37,393 and Mick Jagger had a baby? 182 00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:40,771 Yeah, I just thought maybe he was really skinny and 183 00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:44,609 jittery, and had like a little bit of a British accent, or something. 184 00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:47,236 He's wild and he's crazy. That's why I fell in love with him. 185 00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:48,654 Then you end up with two kids. 186 00:08:48,738 --> 00:08:51,298 And I'm stuck there holding the bag and he's nowhere to be found. 187 00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:53,201 It doesn't matter how much love or passion, 188 00:08:53,284 --> 00:08:54,660 or you can't breathe without each other. 189 00:08:54,744 --> 00:08:56,704 All of that stuff is stupid in comparison. 190 00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:58,539 When you have kids, you have responsibilities. 191 00:08:58,623 --> 00:08:59,707 He doesn't understand that. 192 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,626 Honey, this is actually a good thing. 193 00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,377 - (SIGHS) - I'll welcome Dusty into our home, 194 00:09:03,461 --> 00:09:06,631 and we'll establish some kind but firm boundaries. 195 00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:09,800 All right? It's what Step-By-Stepdad calls "setting up a Loving Fence." 196 00:09:10,051 --> 00:09:12,720 A Loving Fence? Wow, that sounds really great, honey. 197 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:15,723 But your self-help books have never met Dusty Mayron. 198 00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:17,391 He sounds like a rascal, 199 00:09:17,475 --> 00:09:19,315 but I don't think it's anything I can't handle. 200 00:09:21,479 --> 00:09:23,189 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) 201 00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:26,651 PANDA SINGER: Check. Check, check. 202 00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:29,654 Chinese Checkers, Czech, Czech Republic, pop, 203 00:09:29,904 --> 00:09:33,074 sibilance, sibilance, pop, one, two, six, seven, 204 00:09:33,324 --> 00:09:35,159 check, check, check, check. 205 00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:36,569 What do you got for me, Brad? 206 00:09:36,661 --> 00:09:40,081 Oh, Mr. Holt, hello. Well, hopefully the new voice of The Panda. 207 00:09:40,164 --> 00:09:41,249 Oh, listen. 208 00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:44,752 I gotta leave early today. I gotta go pick up my wife's ex at the airport. 209 00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:47,922 Jesus, kid, how'd you draw that shit detail? 210 00:09:48,464 --> 00:09:50,549 Brad, why do you want this deadbeat in your home? 211 00:09:50,675 --> 00:09:53,261 Well, it's not that I want him in my home, 212 00:09:53,344 --> 00:09:55,846 it's just that the better step parenting books 213 00:09:55,930 --> 00:09:58,182 say that the worst thing you can do for the kids 214 00:09:58,266 --> 00:10:00,101 is to push out the biological. 215 00:10:00,351 --> 00:10:02,853 You're in the danger zone here, Brad, and let me tell you why. 216 00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:06,774 Kids that grow up without their dads always end up obsessing over them. 217 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:09,777 Most of the hook-ups that I've had in my adult life 218 00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,696 have been with women that had daddy issues. 219 00:10:11,821 --> 00:10:13,581 I don't know if this is an appropriate story. 220 00:10:13,698 --> 00:10:15,825 Look, my wife would kill me if she knew I was telling you this. 221 00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:17,576 Well, then you shouldn't tell me this. 222 00:10:17,827 --> 00:10:18,907 When I met her in Denver... 223 00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:20,121 You're going to tell the story, aren't you? 224 00:10:20,204 --> 00:10:21,789 ...she was a topless maid. 225 00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:23,708 - Ninety-nine bucks an hour. - Mmm-hmm. 226 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:26,961 Never met her father. But who did she meet? Me. 227 00:10:27,378 --> 00:10:30,423 And who did treat her like shit? Me. 228 00:10:30,506 --> 00:10:31,799 I eventually loved her, 229 00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:33,801 but every time she got out of line, 230 00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:35,970 I'd just pull the Humvee over 231 00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:37,555 and ask her to get out politely. 232 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,056 And then I'd drive away. 233 00:10:39,390 --> 00:10:43,394 Guess what? She showed up at home every time. 234 00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:46,063 This story has no relevance to my situation. 235 00:10:46,314 --> 00:10:48,649 Oh, it doesn't at all. It's just a good story. 236 00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:50,736 So, Pete, are we going to hear this guy, or what? 237 00:10:51,277 --> 00:10:53,070 (BEEPING) 238 00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:56,282 (SINGING) One-oh-three-point-six 239 00:10:56,574 --> 00:10:58,242 The Panda! 240 00:11:01,412 --> 00:11:02,413 I'm sorry. 241 00:11:02,747 --> 00:11:06,751 Keep it up, Brad. You and I will fight in the parking lot. 242 00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:09,170 BRAD: So today is the day 243 00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:11,255 I'm finally meeting the father of my children. 244 00:11:11,589 --> 00:11:14,258 Am I nervous? You're darn right I am. 245 00:11:14,342 --> 00:11:17,094 But who wouldn't be? (SIGHS DEEPLY) 246 00:11:17,345 --> 00:11:20,598 And here's the thing. I mean, Pepe, you know, kids... 247 00:11:20,765 --> 00:11:23,809 ...they see through things and, at the end of the day, 248 00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:25,686 they know who's been around... 249 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:27,480 Holy balls! 250 00:11:27,772 --> 00:11:29,482 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 251 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:33,944 I hope that's not him. 252 00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:44,580 (GULPING) 253 00:11:50,461 --> 00:11:51,545 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 254 00:11:51,629 --> 00:11:53,789 There is no doubt this man is your better in every way. 255 00:11:54,465 --> 00:11:56,634 Well, you're kind to say that. Thank you. 256 00:11:57,301 --> 00:11:59,637 Yeah, I feel pretty good. 257 00:12:02,306 --> 00:12:04,141 - Hey, you Dusty? - Nope. 258 00:12:04,809 --> 00:12:05,976 What? 259 00:12:06,852 --> 00:12:08,354 Are you sure? 260 00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:14,235 Are you Dusty... No, you're not Dusty. 261 00:12:14,819 --> 00:12:16,737 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) 262 00:12:17,488 --> 00:12:19,323 (ON RADIO) You've got Jason Sinclair on The Panda, 263 00:12:19,407 --> 00:12:21,492 the station everybody in the office can agree on. 264 00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:22,743 What is this? 265 00:12:22,827 --> 00:12:23,911 Now if you're up in Wolf Trap this weekend, 266 00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,496 do yourself a favor and check out... 267 00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:27,665 (DOOR OPENING) 268 00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:30,501 Hey! Where have you been? 269 00:12:31,210 --> 00:12:32,336 I called you like 100 times. 270 00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:34,338 (SIGHS) I know, my phone died. Look... 271 00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:36,085 This motorcycle, is this... 272 00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:37,174 Yes. He's here. 273 00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:38,509 - He's here? - Yes. 274 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:40,094 What's he doing inside there? 275 00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:42,138 He's giving the kids all kinds of Star bursts. 276 00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:44,265 Star bursts? God damn it! 277 00:12:44,515 --> 00:12:47,351 Sorry. Sorry. (EXHALES) 278 00:12:47,518 --> 00:12:49,854 I'm a hot habanero pepper right now. 279 00:12:50,104 --> 00:12:52,940 I got a few bullet points I want to bring up with our friend Dusty, 280 00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:56,569 starting with airport etiquette, courtesy and expectation. 281 00:12:57,695 --> 00:12:59,113 MEGAN: Oh, good story, Daddy! 282 00:12:59,363 --> 00:13:01,198 You like that story? It's all true. Hey! 283 00:13:01,282 --> 00:13:02,482 Who wants some more Starbursts 284 00:13:02,533 --> 00:13:05,035 and a couple of uncirculated silver dollars? 285 00:13:05,286 --> 00:13:06,620 So you are Dusty. 286 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,497 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 287 00:13:21,886 --> 00:13:24,638 I sure am. You must be the new and improved husband. 288 00:13:24,722 --> 00:13:26,390 Bring it in, big guns. 289 00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:29,059 I already met you at the airport. 290 00:13:29,143 --> 00:13:30,423 No, I don't recall that, friend. 291 00:13:30,478 --> 00:13:32,313 Yeah, I walked right up to you and asked if you were Dusty. 292 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,565 I'm pretty sure I'd remember a heavy hitter like yourself. 293 00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:35,816 (SCOFFS) 294 00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,180 Well, must have been my mistake. 295 00:13:37,735 --> 00:13:39,195 All right, that was me at the airport. 296 00:13:39,278 --> 00:13:40,821 - Yeah, I know that. - The truth is, 297 00:13:40,905 --> 00:13:42,323 I saw you before you saw me, 298 00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:44,687 and I'm thinking, "This is the guy who's raising my kids?" 299 00:13:44,909 --> 00:13:46,949 "And damn it if he doesn't look like the real deal." 300 00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:48,078 I mean, look at you. 301 00:13:48,162 --> 00:13:49,622 You figured it out, didn't you? 302 00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:50,831 You cracked the code. 303 00:13:50,915 --> 00:13:52,315 (CHUCKLES) I don't know about that. 304 00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:53,940 Don't play that humble game with me. 305 00:13:54,627 --> 00:13:57,129 He is so humble. He's just too humble. 306 00:13:57,254 --> 00:14:00,591 Honey, you got it goin' on. Everybody says so. 307 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:02,593 Yeah, I got it goin' way on. 308 00:14:02,927 --> 00:14:04,595 So you can understand why I panicked at the airport. 309 00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:07,097 - I froze, Brad. I'm sorry. - It's fine. 310 00:14:07,181 --> 00:14:09,183 Look, these are tricky waters to navigate. 311 00:14:09,517 --> 00:14:11,685 They sure are, man. I mean, that is insightful. 312 00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:14,522 You know, I thought it was weird Sara didn't tell me about you before. 313 00:14:14,605 --> 00:14:16,023 I thought, what's she hiding? 314 00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:17,608 And now I know. 315 00:14:18,526 --> 00:14:19,693 A champion. 316 00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:23,113 Hey, Brad! Did you see Dad's motorcycle? 317 00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:24,615 Isn't it cool? 318 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:25,699 BRAD: It sure is. 319 00:14:26,951 --> 00:14:28,619 What is that, an Indian? 320 00:14:28,786 --> 00:14:29,787 Yep. 321 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,623 I believe they're manufactured in Minneapolis. 322 00:14:33,791 --> 00:14:35,960 I've never been, but that's 323 00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:37,683 the setting for The Mary Tyler Moore Show. 324 00:14:37,962 --> 00:14:40,464 And... What's the other... Rhoda. 325 00:14:40,798 --> 00:14:42,967 Which I want to say was a spin-off. 326 00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:47,054 Damn! You really know your bikes, Brad. You ride? 327 00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,138 Uh-huh. Yeah! 328 00:14:48,472 --> 00:14:49,473 - Really? - BRAD: Yeah. 329 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:52,142 I mean, not anymore. I did, you know, 330 00:14:52,268 --> 00:14:55,563 back in college. I had a, um... 331 00:14:55,646 --> 00:14:58,148 I had a Kawa-saki? Kawasaki Nine. 332 00:14:58,274 --> 00:14:59,400 Yeah. 333 00:14:59,483 --> 00:15:03,404 With the fenders and the... The broil joint. So... 334 00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:04,655 Well, you should get on her, man. Come on! 335 00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:06,073 Take her out, see what she can do. 336 00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,156 She's got a lot of power. 337 00:15:07,199 --> 00:15:08,367 Oh, no, no, no. 338 00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:10,035 Yeah, Brad! Brad... Please! 339 00:15:10,119 --> 00:15:12,204 No. Hey, come on, kids. It's time for bed. 340 00:15:12,371 --> 00:15:14,081 It's way past your bedtime. Let's brush your teeth. 341 00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:16,500 All right, come on, guys, listen to your mom. Hey, look... 342 00:15:16,584 --> 00:15:18,836 (STUTTERS) I don't want to overstep, but 343 00:15:19,253 --> 00:15:22,256 it would mean the world to me if I could tuck in our two little blessings. 344 00:15:23,173 --> 00:15:27,553 Yeah. Yeah, sure, of course. They're your kids. Tuck away. 345 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,346 Oh, thank you for that, Brad. 346 00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:34,518 The King messed up. He messed up bad. 347 00:15:34,852 --> 00:15:37,271 He thought he could just ride off to slay dragons, 348 00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,857 and his Queen would always be waiting for him. 349 00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:41,942 And then one day the King received word 350 00:15:42,026 --> 00:15:43,861 that his dominion was being ruled over 351 00:15:44,028 --> 00:15:46,196 by some curly-headed Step King with good credit? 352 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:47,364 Oh, no! 353 00:15:47,448 --> 00:15:49,116 Well, the King rode hard up on his lands, 354 00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:50,618 and when he arrived, 355 00:15:50,868 --> 00:15:54,371 he did gaze fondly upon the Queen, remembering their good times together, 356 00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:57,333 for he had known her in her prime, when she was down for anything, 357 00:15:57,416 --> 00:15:58,834 and I do mean anything. 358 00:15:58,917 --> 00:15:59,918 Psst... 359 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:03,088 Sounds like your dad's spinning quite a yarn. Mind if I listen in? 360 00:16:03,172 --> 00:16:05,716 Oh, actually, it's getting late. You two need to get some sack time. 361 00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:07,718 BOTH: No, we want more story, please! 362 00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:11,639 Hey, I'd love to be in here all night, but let's be respectful of Brad's rules, 363 00:16:11,722 --> 00:16:13,724 no matter how arbitrary they seem. All right? 364 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:16,143 Good night, my little golden treasures. 365 00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:22,483 Good night, my little magical cherubs. 366 00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:24,652 - Here comes some butterfly kisses. - (GIGGLING) 367 00:16:24,735 --> 00:16:26,278 And some Eskimo kisses. 368 00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:29,490 Good night, buddy. Sleep tight. Sleep tight. 369 00:16:29,740 --> 00:16:31,158 Hey, who wants good-night tickles? 370 00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:32,618 - BOTH: Me! - (DUSTY CHUCKLES) 371 00:16:32,743 --> 00:16:34,787 Good night, my little breath of God. 372 00:16:35,329 --> 00:16:36,830 Good night, my little Jesus teardrop. 373 00:16:36,914 --> 00:16:40,834 I almost forgot, my famous good-night back scratches. 374 00:16:40,918 --> 00:16:43,003 - Oh, so relaxing, so relaxing. - (SIGHING) 375 00:16:43,087 --> 00:16:44,171 Good night, sweetie bear. 376 00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:45,964 Hey, who wants twenty bucks? 377 00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:47,716 - BOTH: I do! Me! - Twenty dollars? 378 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,385 - What? - Oh, yeah. 379 00:16:49,468 --> 00:16:51,553 One for you, and one for you. 380 00:16:51,637 --> 00:16:52,680 I don't know if that's appropriate. 381 00:16:52,763 --> 00:16:53,764 Ah, don't worry about it. 382 00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:54,932 BRAD: Okay. Good night. 383 00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:59,937 So, uh, if you want to, why don't you come by tomorrow after school? 384 00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:01,105 Might be a good time to... 385 00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,272 What about the cold one? 386 00:17:02,356 --> 00:17:03,357 The cold one? 387 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,526 You promised me a cold one and a handshake. 388 00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:07,444 Cold one. One cold one, coming up. 389 00:17:07,528 --> 00:17:09,196 Great. I'll grab my jacket, we'll go outside. 390 00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:10,531 Perfect. All right. 391 00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:12,449 Hey! Psst... 392 00:17:12,616 --> 00:17:15,285 What are you doing? What are you guys buddies now? 393 00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:17,871 No. I mean, I offered him a cold one. 394 00:17:17,955 --> 00:17:20,124 I really should honor the cold one promise. 395 00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:23,836 (SIGHS) Fine. You give him a cold one, and then you get rid of him, okay? 396 00:17:24,128 --> 00:17:25,170 You put up your Loving Fence, 397 00:17:25,254 --> 00:17:26,255 - remember? - Mmm-hmm. 398 00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:28,006 - Then you come to bed. - Okay. 399 00:17:28,966 --> 00:17:30,134 - Will do. - Okay. 400 00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:35,407 DUSTY: What you got going on over here? 401 00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:39,476 Oh, uh, that's a treehouse. A little, uh, 402 00:17:40,144 --> 00:17:43,147 bonding project for Dylan and I. 403 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,733 Yeah, we've been at it for about two months. 404 00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:46,984 DUSTY: It's looking good. 405 00:17:47,151 --> 00:17:48,152 BRAD: Thank you. 406 00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:52,364 So, Dusty, how long do you think you're going to be in town for? 407 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:56,118 Well, Brad, the truth is, I'm wheels-up a week from tomorrow. 408 00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:58,454 Time to get out there and kick some ass for America. 409 00:17:58,579 --> 00:18:00,831 Oh, I see. So you're a soldier? 410 00:18:00,998 --> 00:18:01,999 Nope. 411 00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:03,417 Oh, so you're a, uh... 412 00:18:03,584 --> 00:18:04,668 Yep. 413 00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:06,587 Yep, what? 414 00:18:06,837 --> 00:18:09,157 (CHUCKLES) You don't want to know any more than that, Brad. 415 00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:10,591 Okay. 416 00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:16,847 Um, listen, Dusty, I think that we should set up a visitation schedule. 417 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:20,559 Right? That way, you feel like you have ample time with the children... 418 00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:22,186 Why don't we cut the shit, Brad? 419 00:18:23,687 --> 00:18:25,689 No, we don't have to cut the shit. 420 00:18:26,023 --> 00:18:28,663 You want to know what I'm doing here, why don't you quit looking at 421 00:18:28,734 --> 00:18:30,194 whatever you wrote on your hand? 422 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:33,363 Be a man and ask me, Brad. 423 00:18:33,697 --> 00:18:35,866 Okay. What are you doing here? 424 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:39,536 Now, we both know kids need a single primary male role model. 425 00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:41,705 Sara's made her choice. 426 00:18:42,206 --> 00:18:44,291 I'm man enough to let that role model be you. 427 00:18:44,917 --> 00:18:46,877 I will vouch for you with my children. 428 00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:50,047 I will give them my sacred permission to trust you. 429 00:18:50,464 --> 00:18:51,882 To love you and to 430 00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:54,384 call you Dad. 431 00:18:54,927 --> 00:18:55,928 You'd do that for me? 432 00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:57,095 No. 433 00:18:58,055 --> 00:18:59,723 But I will do it for them. 434 00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:02,601 That is what you want, isn't it, Brad? 435 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:05,103 More than anything in the world. 436 00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:09,066 He played you. You just got so played out there. 437 00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:11,151 I know it looks that way, 438 00:19:11,235 --> 00:19:13,153 'cause I promised I would ask him to leave, 439 00:19:13,237 --> 00:19:16,740 and then I invited him to stay for a week, but he didn't play me. 440 00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:19,201 You know what he did? He cut the shit. 441 00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:20,994 - Oh, he did? - And I gotta say, 442 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:22,621 it was refreshing. 443 00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:26,083 I think more of us could stand to just cut the shit, you know. 444 00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:28,001 - Right. - In one conversation, 445 00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:30,587 he just blew by eight chapters in my stepdad book. 446 00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:33,006 I mean, this is gonna be so good for me and the kids. 447 00:19:33,090 --> 00:19:36,093 Oh, baby, you have no idea who you're dancing with. 448 00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:37,594 Dusty gets into your head, 449 00:19:37,678 --> 00:19:38,762 - that's what he does. - (WHIRRING) 450 00:19:38,846 --> 00:19:41,682 (MUFFLED) He has a very impressive, rugged bravado, 451 00:19:41,765 --> 00:19:44,852 there's no question. But I gotta say, 452 00:19:44,935 --> 00:19:49,147 I think in here, there's a soft, soft creamy center. 453 00:19:49,523 --> 00:19:51,692 You know? I think he feels a lot. 454 00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:54,903 He just... He needs someone with this, a big ear. 455 00:19:55,112 --> 00:19:56,613 And I got them. Mmm. 456 00:20:01,285 --> 00:20:02,870 Oh, good morning, Dusty. 457 00:20:02,953 --> 00:20:04,371 - Hey. - You're up and at 'em. 458 00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:05,539 - (OVEN TIMER DINGS) - Yeah, I got up early 459 00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:06,707 - and did a quick 20. - Really? 460 00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:08,550 - Twenty minutes of what? - Oh, twenty miles. 461 00:20:08,959 --> 00:20:10,335 Did a little light sparring, then I whipped up 462 00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:12,339 a pan of piping-hot cinnamon rolls for my family. 463 00:20:12,713 --> 00:20:13,839 And I made one for you, too. 464 00:20:14,131 --> 00:20:16,675 Wow. That's very impressive, thank you. 465 00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,344 - DUSTY: Good morning, gang! - Ooh, it smells yummy! 466 00:20:19,595 --> 00:20:22,431 Our real dad's a super, super-duper good cook! 467 00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:24,099 - Mmm-hmm. - Here you go, guys. 468 00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:27,436 Yeah, it looks an awful lot like Cinnabon. 469 00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:29,438 Well, thank you, Brad. What a nice thing to say. 470 00:20:30,606 --> 00:20:32,357 Mmm, it tastes exactly like Cinnabon! 471 00:20:32,441 --> 00:20:35,110 In fact, same shape, same swirl, same frosting. 472 00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:36,278 Well, now you're starting to embarrass me, 473 00:20:36,361 --> 00:20:37,761 but I do appreciate the compliment. 474 00:20:38,447 --> 00:20:39,823 Good morning, Sar-bear! 475 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,950 - Morning. - Hey, listen, guys, 476 00:20:42,034 --> 00:20:44,620 Brad and I had a talk last night about the importance of family. 477 00:20:44,745 --> 00:20:47,205 And now that everyone's here, I wanted to say a few words, okay? 478 00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:48,457 I think that would be great. 479 00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:52,294 Hey, kids, you know, families can be ever-growing and changing things. 480 00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:55,255 And sometimes someone new knocks on the door of your heart 481 00:20:55,339 --> 00:20:57,659 and you're not sure if you have room in there for one more. 482 00:20:57,716 --> 00:21:00,396 But there's someone here now that I hope you guys can learn to love. 483 00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:01,511 Okay? 484 00:21:02,137 --> 00:21:03,388 (WHISTLING) 485 00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:06,058 - Come here, boy! - (GROWLING) 486 00:21:06,141 --> 00:21:07,601 BOTH: A doggy! Yay! 487 00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:10,479 You brought a dog home? 488 00:21:10,562 --> 00:21:11,939 Yeah. Is that a problem? 489 00:21:12,064 --> 00:21:14,024 I mean, you seemed really into it while I was teeing it up. 490 00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:15,484 No, I thought you were talking about me. 491 00:21:15,567 --> 00:21:17,527 - Oh, but you're not a dog, Brad. - No... (SCOFFS) 492 00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:19,571 Look, last night, when we talked... 493 00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:22,061 Oh, yeah. Well, listen, that's got to happen organically. 494 00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,200 Why can't it happen now? 495 00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:24,326 It just can't. 496 00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:25,452 You're dirty. 497 00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:26,578 SARA: Dusty, how old is that thing? 498 00:21:26,662 --> 00:21:28,205 I'd guess him to be around 15. 499 00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:30,819 I mean, I found him this morning, living in a storm drain. 500 00:21:30,916 --> 00:21:32,960 I named him Tumor, because of how much he grows on you. 501 00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:35,045 BOTH: Mommy, can we keep Tumor, please? 502 00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:36,755 Oh, I'm gonna leave this one up to Brad. 503 00:21:36,838 --> 00:21:38,382 BOTH: Please, Brad! Please! 504 00:21:39,341 --> 00:21:40,801 Why is he looking at me like that? 505 00:21:40,884 --> 00:21:42,678 - (GROWLING) - He's only looking at me. 506 00:21:42,844 --> 00:21:44,763 Maybe we just get a puppy instead? 507 00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:47,474 A puppy, Brad? What are they going to learn from a puppy? 508 00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:50,769 An old dog like Tumor here's been out in the world, man. Living free. 509 00:21:51,019 --> 00:21:53,480 Fighting for survival and seeing things we can only dream of. 510 00:21:53,897 --> 00:21:55,857 Just look at the wisdom in those cloudy eyes. 511 00:21:56,108 --> 00:21:58,026 Besides, you know what happens to old dogs at shelters. 512 00:21:58,110 --> 00:22:00,112 He's gonna have to walk the green mile as soon as he gets there. 513 00:22:00,195 --> 00:22:02,239 No, Brad, no! Don't kill our dog! 514 00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:03,657 I hate you! 515 00:22:04,491 --> 00:22:06,660 Okay. Okay. Fine. 516 00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:09,746 He can live out his few remaining weeks with us. 517 00:22:10,038 --> 00:22:11,498 Yay! Thanks, Brad. 518 00:22:11,581 --> 00:22:12,874 I don't hate you anymore. 519 00:22:14,042 --> 00:22:15,085 He's going potty! 520 00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:16,712 SARA: Oh, my God. 521 00:22:16,795 --> 00:22:18,422 We'll clean it up. We don't mind. 522 00:22:18,714 --> 00:22:19,840 Look at that. 523 00:22:19,923 --> 00:22:21,383 The dog's already teaching them responsibility. 524 00:22:21,466 --> 00:22:23,510 Hey, guys, when you got to pick up the potty, use gloves. 525 00:22:23,593 --> 00:22:26,273 - He's definitely got worms in his poo. - (BOTH GROANING IN DISGUST) 526 00:22:31,685 --> 00:22:32,769 (SIGHS) 527 00:22:33,937 --> 00:22:36,106 SARA: Dusty! Can you please move this thing? 528 00:22:36,231 --> 00:22:37,816 I can't get my car out of the garage. 529 00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:39,901 Hey, Brad, do you mind? I want to grab a quick shower. 530 00:22:39,985 --> 00:22:42,029 Yeah, sure, no problem. 531 00:22:43,238 --> 00:22:44,364 - Hey, honey. - Hi, sweetie. 532 00:22:44,489 --> 00:22:45,532 It's blocking everything. 533 00:22:45,615 --> 00:22:48,035 No, I know. I know, don't worry. We're on top of it. 534 00:22:48,118 --> 00:22:50,454 What are you doing? Brad, I don't... 535 00:22:51,121 --> 00:22:53,331 Hey! Stay away from that, please. 536 00:22:53,915 --> 00:22:54,916 (GRUNTS) 537 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,084 Honey, what are you doing? 538 00:22:56,209 --> 00:22:57,809 - (ENGINE REVVING) - (LAUGHING NERVOUSLY) 539 00:22:57,961 --> 00:22:59,963 I don't know if that's a good idea, Brad. 540 00:23:00,088 --> 00:23:01,131 Dusty! 541 00:23:01,298 --> 00:23:03,967 It's vibrating up into my shoulders. 542 00:23:04,926 --> 00:23:07,006 Hey, it's okay, Brad. Look, she's a lot of bike, man. 543 00:23:07,137 --> 00:23:08,930 No, I'm good. Why don't you go back in and take that shower, 544 00:23:09,014 --> 00:23:10,307 so you can get a shirt on? 545 00:23:10,599 --> 00:23:12,267 Oh, you got it. Hey, you look good on that, man. 546 00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:13,560 Remember, one down, four up. 547 00:23:13,643 --> 00:23:15,437 Dusty, everyone knows it's one down... 548 00:23:15,604 --> 00:23:16,938 - (SCREAMING) - (TYRES SQUEALING) 549 00:23:17,272 --> 00:23:18,899 Watch out! Watch out! Watch out! 550 00:23:18,982 --> 00:23:20,317 (ALL SCREAMING) 551 00:23:20,984 --> 00:23:22,319 (CRASHING) 552 00:23:33,163 --> 00:23:34,748 Did Brad just die? 553 00:23:34,831 --> 00:23:38,335 I think we all need to prepare ourselves for that possibility, pumpkin. Okay? 554 00:23:39,628 --> 00:23:40,629 Brad! 555 00:23:42,672 --> 00:23:43,673 Brad! 556 00:23:46,510 --> 00:23:48,053 - (BRAD GROANING) - (GASPING) 557 00:23:48,136 --> 00:23:49,930 Oh, my God. 558 00:23:50,013 --> 00:23:51,098 - (COUGHING) - Brad, are you all right? 559 00:23:51,181 --> 00:23:54,810 No, I'm not all right. I'm in the wall. I'm scared. 560 00:23:54,893 --> 00:23:56,061 Oh, honey. 561 00:23:56,186 --> 00:23:58,021 Jeez, Brad, I thought you said you could ride. 562 00:23:58,230 --> 00:24:00,315 I can ride, okay. Would you get a shirt on? 563 00:24:00,398 --> 00:24:01,608 I think if you could ride, 564 00:24:01,691 --> 00:24:03,401 you wouldn't be stuck in a wall right now, Brad. 565 00:24:03,485 --> 00:24:05,570 SARA: Yeah. I'm sorry to say it, but he's right. 566 00:24:05,654 --> 00:24:06,780 You almost killed the kids! 567 00:24:06,863 --> 00:24:08,490 DUSTY: Let's not beat up on Brad here. Okay? 568 00:24:08,573 --> 00:24:09,741 He was showboating for the kids a little bit, 569 00:24:09,866 --> 00:24:10,951 and things got out of hand. 570 00:24:11,034 --> 00:24:13,203 Let's all just be grateful nobody got hurt. Okay? 571 00:24:13,495 --> 00:24:14,579 I got hurt! 572 00:24:14,663 --> 00:24:16,383 Okay, kids, listen up. This is a good lesson 573 00:24:16,498 --> 00:24:19,209 on why you never wanna lie about your ability to do things 574 00:24:19,334 --> 00:24:21,378 you clearly can't do, okay, huh? 575 00:24:21,837 --> 00:24:23,630 I think my arm is stuck in the wall. 576 00:24:23,713 --> 00:24:25,132 DUSTY: Brad, just stay still. I'll get you out. 577 00:24:25,215 --> 00:24:27,217 No, no, no, no, no. No, don't do anything. 578 00:24:27,342 --> 00:24:29,636 And would you please just go and get a shirt on? 579 00:24:29,719 --> 00:24:31,388 Just calm down, all right? 580 00:24:32,722 --> 00:24:34,349 - (SARA SCREAMING) - (GROANING) 581 00:24:37,060 --> 00:24:39,187 Hey, I'm really sorry about what happened to your car. 582 00:24:39,396 --> 00:24:41,356 Yeah, and I'm sorry about what happened to your bike. 583 00:24:41,439 --> 00:24:43,441 Oh, no damage. Not a scratch. 584 00:24:43,733 --> 00:24:45,569 - Oh, not even one scratch? - Unbelievable. 585 00:24:45,944 --> 00:24:47,404 (LAUGHS) That's so good. 586 00:24:48,155 --> 00:24:49,698 (ROOF THUDS) 587 00:24:53,869 --> 00:24:55,787 Let's keep it going! Inside the cones! 588 00:24:55,871 --> 00:24:57,372 Just like ice cream! 589 00:24:57,581 --> 00:24:58,790 Morning, Jerry. 590 00:24:58,874 --> 00:25:00,959 Got to keep it inside the cones! 591 00:25:01,042 --> 00:25:03,712 No, Daddy! You're supposed to stay in the cones! 592 00:25:03,795 --> 00:25:06,047 Whoa, whoa! Inside the cones! 593 00:25:06,298 --> 00:25:07,924 - Inside. Bring her in. That's better. - (SIGHS) 594 00:25:08,008 --> 00:25:10,677 Let's keep those kids safe today, okay? Thank you, Brad. 595 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,095 Sorry, Doris. 596 00:25:14,264 --> 00:25:16,683 It's okay. This whole drop-off line thing 597 00:25:16,766 --> 00:25:18,185 can be a bit overwhelming if you're not used to it. 598 00:25:18,268 --> 00:25:20,604 Yeah, well, I've landed a chopper in the middle of a Cuban prison riot, 599 00:25:20,687 --> 00:25:22,355 Brad, I think I'm good. 600 00:25:22,439 --> 00:25:23,440 (BEEPING) 601 00:25:23,607 --> 00:25:27,194 Bye, guys! I love you guys so much. Have a great day, okay? 602 00:25:27,277 --> 00:25:28,945 - Bye, Daddy! - Make sure you do all your work. 603 00:25:29,070 --> 00:25:30,870 Bye, guys. Have the best day. I love you so... 604 00:25:33,950 --> 00:25:35,230 BRAD: Here's the exciting thing. 605 00:25:35,285 --> 00:25:39,331 We just opened up in our 68th market, making The Panda America's 606 00:25:39,414 --> 00:25:41,583 number three smooth jazz station. 607 00:25:41,958 --> 00:25:43,126 Wow. 608 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:47,297 And here it is. My, uh... My little nook. 609 00:25:48,131 --> 00:25:51,968 Wow. Oh, man, I gotta admit, this is more than I expected. 610 00:25:52,302 --> 00:25:53,470 Wow. 611 00:25:54,638 --> 00:25:55,889 I kind of envy you, Brad. 612 00:25:55,972 --> 00:25:57,140 Oh, stop it. 613 00:25:57,390 --> 00:26:00,936 Ah, it's true. I mean, you're a nice guy, making a comfortable living, 614 00:26:01,019 --> 00:26:03,188 and the most fantastic woman in the world loves you dearly. 615 00:26:03,271 --> 00:26:04,731 Really? Thanks for saying that. 616 00:26:04,856 --> 00:26:09,152 I mean it. And that sacrifice she's making for you... That's true love. 617 00:26:09,361 --> 00:26:10,362 Sacrifice? 618 00:26:10,528 --> 00:26:11,571 Well, sure, Brad. 619 00:26:11,655 --> 00:26:13,455 You know how bad that girl wants another baby. 620 00:26:14,824 --> 00:26:16,284 She wants another baby? 621 00:26:16,368 --> 00:26:17,744 For her to let that slip away 622 00:26:17,827 --> 00:26:20,705 and marry a man she knew to be barren, that's true love. 623 00:26:21,706 --> 00:26:23,500 How do you know that I can't... 624 00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:24,751 - Bradley. - Yes. 625 00:26:24,834 --> 00:26:26,920 Caroline says we're gonna hear some new voice talent this a.m.? 626 00:26:27,003 --> 00:26:28,838 Yes, sir, in about 15 minutes. 627 00:26:28,922 --> 00:26:30,006 Okay. How'd it go 628 00:26:30,090 --> 00:26:32,634 - with the shitbag ex-husband? - Uh-uh. 629 00:26:32,717 --> 00:26:35,428 You whip his ass with that Loving Fence of yours? 630 00:26:35,679 --> 00:26:37,973 (LAUGHS) Well, actually it's interesting, Mr. Holt, 631 00:26:38,056 --> 00:26:40,684 because I want you to meet Dusty Mayron. 632 00:26:41,101 --> 00:26:44,896 Jesus in the morning. She was married to him first? 633 00:26:45,647 --> 00:26:48,024 Okay. Let's establish some ground rules, pretty boy. 634 00:26:48,108 --> 00:26:49,234 - Airborne? - Huh? 635 00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:51,987 Well, your lapel pin. 101st, that's one hell of a division, sir. 636 00:26:52,070 --> 00:26:54,489 Oh, well, thank you, Dusty. 637 00:26:54,698 --> 00:26:55,699 Are you Airborne? 638 00:26:55,782 --> 00:26:57,575 Oh, no, sir, I'm afraid I don't share that honor, 639 00:26:57,659 --> 00:26:59,911 but I'm humbled to be in the presence of anyone who does. 640 00:26:59,995 --> 00:27:02,539 Airborne Division? Those guys love to fly. 641 00:27:03,581 --> 00:27:04,833 Very nice to meet you, sir. 642 00:27:04,916 --> 00:27:06,918 Thank you, thank you. It's good to meet you. 643 00:27:07,002 --> 00:27:08,082 My pleasure. It's an honor. 644 00:27:08,128 --> 00:27:09,879 Fast friends over there. (CHUCKLES) 645 00:27:10,547 --> 00:27:11,881 That's wonderful. 646 00:27:12,173 --> 00:27:13,341 Come on! No way! 647 00:27:13,717 --> 00:27:15,885 The whole time you're running guns for the freedom fighters 648 00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:17,637 right under the cartel's noses, 649 00:27:17,721 --> 00:27:19,514 and they never suspected it was you once? 650 00:27:19,681 --> 00:27:22,225 Well, I'm sure they started to suspect once they were in a ball of fire 651 00:27:22,309 --> 00:27:23,852 the size of four city blocks. 652 00:27:23,935 --> 00:27:24,936 (LAUGHING) 653 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:27,480 That's great. I love that! 654 00:27:27,564 --> 00:27:29,024 Holy buckets, Brad! 655 00:27:29,107 --> 00:27:31,651 If this guy was my wife's ex, I'd put a bullet in my skull. 656 00:27:31,735 --> 00:27:32,944 (BOTH LAUGHS) 657 00:27:33,028 --> 00:27:34,321 DUSTY: Come on, Leo, cut it out. 658 00:27:34,404 --> 00:27:36,948 Oh, uh... Sir, I think Barry's ready. 659 00:27:37,032 --> 00:27:38,325 You're really going to like this guy. 660 00:27:38,408 --> 00:27:40,660 Okay. Ready to listen. 661 00:27:41,411 --> 00:27:42,829 (BEEPING) 662 00:27:43,747 --> 00:27:46,416 (SINGING) One-oh-three-point-six 663 00:27:46,750 --> 00:27:48,752 The Panda! 664 00:27:51,087 --> 00:27:52,630 All right. Mmm-hmm. 665 00:27:54,049 --> 00:27:55,425 - You like him, Brad? - I do. 666 00:27:55,759 --> 00:28:00,096 I do. I mean, I think his voice has a warm dependability 667 00:28:00,430 --> 00:28:03,099 that all Panda listeners could trust. 668 00:28:03,767 --> 00:28:04,809 What do you think, Duster? 669 00:28:04,893 --> 00:28:06,061 (BRAD LAUGHS) 670 00:28:06,144 --> 00:28:07,979 Does Dusty now work for The Panda? 671 00:28:08,063 --> 00:28:09,856 Yeah, Brad's right. 672 00:28:09,939 --> 00:28:12,025 I'm not really into smooth jazz. I shouldn't comment. 673 00:28:12,150 --> 00:28:14,319 (SCOFFS) Nobody's into smooth jazz. 674 00:28:14,444 --> 00:28:15,653 I'm into smooth jazz. 675 00:28:15,779 --> 00:28:16,905 Of course you are, Brad. 676 00:28:17,405 --> 00:28:18,615 So what do you think, Dusty? 677 00:28:18,907 --> 00:28:20,533 I mean, it just seems a little flaccid. 678 00:28:20,617 --> 00:28:21,868 You know, I think you need a voice with 679 00:28:21,951 --> 00:28:23,711 some virility and hope, that tells listeners, 680 00:28:23,787 --> 00:28:26,956 "Hey! Maybe the next song won't suck as bad as the last one." 681 00:28:27,248 --> 00:28:29,250 Also, I think a strong ability to be something like... 682 00:28:29,334 --> 00:28:32,295 (SINGING) One-oh-three-point-six 683 00:28:32,379 --> 00:28:34,714 The Panda! 684 00:28:38,009 --> 00:28:39,010 What... 685 00:28:39,469 --> 00:28:41,471 What just happened? 686 00:28:42,472 --> 00:28:44,808 He sang the tagline. 687 00:28:45,183 --> 00:28:46,726 - Good boy, Tumor! - (CAR HONKING) 688 00:28:47,477 --> 00:28:48,812 BOTH: Daddy! 689 00:28:48,978 --> 00:28:50,021 DUSTY: Hey! 690 00:28:50,980 --> 00:28:52,482 Oh, perfect timing. Listen to this. 691 00:28:52,690 --> 00:28:54,442 DUSTY: (ON RADIO) One-oh-three-point-six 692 00:28:54,526 --> 00:28:56,569 The Panda! 693 00:28:56,820 --> 00:28:58,029 - Is that you? - Yeah! 694 00:28:58,113 --> 00:28:59,322 SARA: That's you? 695 00:29:00,156 --> 00:29:01,783 Why is that him? 696 00:29:01,991 --> 00:29:05,412 I took him to work, and 15 minutes later he's the new voice of The Panda. 697 00:29:05,495 --> 00:29:08,498 Hey, you believe that? I record one take at 9:30 this morning, 698 00:29:08,623 --> 00:29:09,958 it's already run 11 times. 699 00:29:10,083 --> 00:29:12,123 Do I really get 182 bucks every time they play that? 700 00:29:12,168 --> 00:29:13,420 Yes. Every time, yes. 701 00:29:13,503 --> 00:29:14,754 Ooh! Money. 702 00:29:14,838 --> 00:29:17,424 You see why I love America even more than most people do? 703 00:29:18,007 --> 00:29:19,342 Hey. What's this? 704 00:29:19,426 --> 00:29:21,136 Just the handyman I hired off Angie's List. 705 00:29:21,219 --> 00:29:23,012 He's upstairs fixing the damage. 706 00:29:23,638 --> 00:29:25,598 Your wife had to hire a man? For what? 707 00:29:25,682 --> 00:29:27,142 Some framing, a little Sheetrock repair, 708 00:29:27,225 --> 00:29:28,518 some masonry and basic window glazing? 709 00:29:28,643 --> 00:29:30,363 Come on, Brad. We can bang that out tonight. 710 00:29:32,647 --> 00:29:33,690 Yeah. 711 00:29:33,857 --> 00:29:35,984 It's just basic Sheetrock glazing 712 00:29:36,067 --> 00:29:38,695 and, you know, little whatamajigs. 713 00:29:39,028 --> 00:29:40,697 Get up there and 714 00:29:41,865 --> 00:29:43,700 get in there and crank it out. 715 00:29:43,950 --> 00:29:45,201 Dusty is pretty good with his hands. 716 00:29:45,285 --> 00:29:46,965 Pretty good with my hands, Brad, she knows. 717 00:29:48,538 --> 00:29:50,790 Okay. Yeah, I'll just go up there and I'll... 718 00:29:50,874 --> 00:29:52,876 - Want me to do it? I'll tell him to screw. - No, no, no, no. 719 00:29:52,959 --> 00:29:54,127 No, no, no. That's okay. 720 00:29:54,210 --> 00:29:55,295 I'll tell him, 721 00:29:55,378 --> 00:29:56,796 - "Guess what, bub?" - Tell him the men are here. 722 00:29:56,921 --> 00:29:58,089 I'll say that. I'll say, "The men are here." 723 00:29:58,214 --> 00:29:59,974 - Let's do it. - I don't want to imply to him 724 00:30:00,008 --> 00:30:01,885 that he's not a man. But I'll just say, 725 00:30:02,177 --> 00:30:04,179 "Hey, the boys are back in town." Right? 726 00:30:04,596 --> 00:30:06,139 (HAMMERING) 727 00:30:09,893 --> 00:30:10,894 Oh, hi. 728 00:30:12,562 --> 00:30:14,772 I'm Brad. Uh... My wife hired you. 729 00:30:14,856 --> 00:30:15,982 Nice to meet you, Brad. 730 00:30:16,065 --> 00:30:19,402 I just came up here to say that you... 731 00:30:21,070 --> 00:30:23,740 That, um, you should have good luck. 732 00:30:24,407 --> 00:30:26,242 Thank you for your wishes of luck. 733 00:30:26,534 --> 00:30:27,702 I'll be downstairs. 734 00:30:29,537 --> 00:30:30,914 Well? What happened? 735 00:30:31,289 --> 00:30:32,874 Oh, you know, I think it's... 736 00:30:32,957 --> 00:30:36,336 He already started, and I just think it feels wrong. 737 00:30:36,419 --> 00:30:37,587 Why? Because he's black? 738 00:30:37,754 --> 00:30:39,088 No. No, no. 739 00:30:39,422 --> 00:30:40,757 Megan! Dylan! 740 00:30:40,882 --> 00:30:42,642 - What are you doing? Huh? - Teaching moment. 741 00:30:43,343 --> 00:30:46,513 Guys, what would we call Brad if he treated someone differently 742 00:30:46,596 --> 00:30:48,389 just because of the color of their skin? 743 00:30:48,473 --> 00:30:50,934 - (BOTH GASPS) - Brad's being racism? 744 00:30:51,017 --> 00:30:53,061 Racist, honey. Brad is a racist. 745 00:30:53,144 --> 00:30:54,938 - Honey. - No, I mean... But not on purpose. 746 00:30:55,021 --> 00:30:56,356 Is Brad a Klan person? 747 00:30:56,606 --> 00:30:58,650 No. (LAUGHS) 748 00:30:58,733 --> 00:31:01,444 So I'm a racist if I don't fire someone? 749 00:31:01,528 --> 00:31:02,529 Well, yeah, you are. 750 00:31:02,612 --> 00:31:03,696 Yeah, you are. 751 00:31:05,865 --> 00:31:08,451 Sir, you're taking this all wrong. 752 00:31:08,576 --> 00:31:10,328 Right. So you get one look at the color of my skin, 753 00:31:10,411 --> 00:31:12,205 and all of a sudden you're Mr. Do It Yourself, huh? 754 00:31:12,288 --> 00:31:13,706 No, not at all. Please, 755 00:31:13,790 --> 00:31:15,416 allow me to pay you for your time and travel. 756 00:31:15,500 --> 00:31:17,919 Don't do me any favors, Paula Deen. 757 00:31:18,127 --> 00:31:19,254 (SIGHS) 758 00:31:19,754 --> 00:31:20,797 I'm not a woman. 759 00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:22,298 You did the right thing. 760 00:31:22,382 --> 00:31:24,217 Boy, it doesn't feel that way. 761 00:31:24,342 --> 00:31:25,635 Let's get cracking. Where do you keep your tools? 762 00:31:25,718 --> 00:31:28,054 I know where Brad keeps his tools. In the credenza. 763 00:31:28,972 --> 00:31:30,014 - Yeah. - You keep your tools 764 00:31:30,098 --> 00:31:31,558 - in the credenza, Brad? - In the credenza. Mmm-hmm. 765 00:31:31,641 --> 00:31:32,850 Just easier to get to. 766 00:31:32,934 --> 00:31:34,227 - It's convenient. - Yeah. 767 00:31:34,310 --> 00:31:35,311 (CLATTERING) 768 00:31:36,729 --> 00:31:38,314 This is a tackle box, Brad. Are we going fishing? 769 00:31:38,398 --> 00:31:40,400 No. Unless you want to go fishing. 770 00:31:40,650 --> 00:31:42,569 What have you got in here? 771 00:31:42,652 --> 00:31:44,904 A hammer, masking tape, three C batteries and 772 00:31:44,988 --> 00:31:45,989 a tampon. 773 00:31:46,114 --> 00:31:47,115 Yeah, well, a tampon's handy for... 774 00:31:47,198 --> 00:31:48,908 Yeah, I know what they're handy for. 775 00:31:49,742 --> 00:31:51,077 So are we not going to fix it? 776 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:52,370 Well, what do you want from me, Brad? 777 00:31:52,453 --> 00:31:53,621 To buy all the gear we need would cost more 778 00:31:53,705 --> 00:31:55,999 than just hiring someone off of Angie's List. 779 00:31:59,836 --> 00:32:01,379 - (GROWLING) - (GASPS) 780 00:32:02,672 --> 00:32:04,007 And the King, he thought 781 00:32:04,090 --> 00:32:06,884 the Step King seemed okay at first, a little soft, maybe, 782 00:32:06,968 --> 00:32:09,095 but, heck, the Queen needed a meal ticket. 783 00:32:09,345 --> 00:32:10,905 But the more the King learned about him, 784 00:32:10,930 --> 00:32:13,016 the more he doubted the Step King's ability to lead. 785 00:32:13,266 --> 00:32:15,935 So the King decided there was only one way to... 786 00:32:16,019 --> 00:32:17,353 Psst... Hey. Good story? 787 00:32:17,437 --> 00:32:19,606 Yeah. The King finally came back to his castle. 788 00:32:19,731 --> 00:32:22,775 But the evil Step King wouldn't give him his crown back. 789 00:32:22,859 --> 00:32:26,362 Oh, okay, yeah. I think I've heard this story before. 790 00:32:26,446 --> 00:32:28,031 Ah, it's a story as old as time, Brad. 791 00:32:28,156 --> 00:32:30,796 Well, you know what? It turns out the Step King wasn't evil at all. 792 00:32:31,034 --> 00:32:32,160 He was a really good guy. 793 00:32:32,243 --> 00:32:34,329 Fun at parties, great conversationalist, 794 00:32:34,412 --> 00:32:36,372 affable. And he saw 795 00:32:36,456 --> 00:32:39,417 that the beautiful Queen and perfect Prince and Princess 796 00:32:39,500 --> 00:32:42,795 were all alone, and he came valiantly to their rescue. 797 00:32:42,962 --> 00:32:44,839 Yeah, but wasn't the Queen sad because 798 00:32:44,922 --> 00:32:47,050 the Step King couldn't give her an heir to the throne? 799 00:32:47,133 --> 00:32:48,509 Okay, you know what? Now this is getting personal. 800 00:32:48,593 --> 00:32:51,471 Hey, Brad, come on. We're just doing fairy tales here. 801 00:32:52,472 --> 00:32:54,390 All right. Well, the Queen wasn't sad, 802 00:32:55,141 --> 00:32:56,934 just for the record. (STUTTERING) 803 00:32:57,018 --> 00:32:59,604 The Step King was pretty sure she was totally cool with it. 804 00:32:59,687 --> 00:33:02,231 Yeah, Brad's right. I'm sure the Queen was thrilled. Right? 805 00:33:02,732 --> 00:33:03,900 Right? 806 00:33:04,484 --> 00:33:05,568 Yeah. 807 00:33:11,157 --> 00:33:12,325 Honey, 808 00:33:13,576 --> 00:33:15,161 what's the matter? 809 00:33:15,912 --> 00:33:17,872 Are you still sad about Dusty finding your tampon? 810 00:33:17,955 --> 00:33:20,041 No. No, I mean, 811 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:22,877 this is a little embarrassing, 812 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:24,837 but it's just, I was... 813 00:33:26,673 --> 00:33:29,676 Is there any chance you still want another baby? 814 00:33:30,343 --> 00:33:33,680 Oh, my God. What, did Dusty say something? 815 00:33:34,681 --> 00:33:36,683 He's just trying to get in your head. 816 00:33:36,933 --> 00:33:38,267 So it's not true then? 817 00:33:42,855 --> 00:33:45,525 Okay. Maybe I did want another baby. 818 00:33:46,275 --> 00:33:48,444 But it's not possible, given what happened to your... 819 00:33:48,528 --> 00:33:51,406 And I'm not blaming them. I love them. 820 00:33:51,656 --> 00:33:53,199 They are my fuzzy little pals. 821 00:33:53,282 --> 00:33:54,409 You don't have to say that. 822 00:33:54,617 --> 00:33:55,702 They are. 823 00:33:56,285 --> 00:33:59,122 I am 100% happy with the family that I have. 824 00:33:59,956 --> 00:34:01,516 The only reason I'm putting up with him 825 00:34:01,541 --> 00:34:03,710 is because my kids are so happy to see him. 826 00:34:03,793 --> 00:34:06,033 And I want them to have a relationship with their father. 827 00:34:07,714 --> 00:34:08,881 You know what? 828 00:34:09,006 --> 00:34:10,425 I can't wait to see his face 829 00:34:10,508 --> 00:34:13,302 when he figures out how much you really do for his kids. 830 00:34:14,053 --> 00:34:16,389 Yeah. I mean, I'm 831 00:34:17,390 --> 00:34:19,976 involved. I'm emotionally available. 832 00:34:20,059 --> 00:34:21,144 Yeah, you are. 833 00:34:21,227 --> 00:34:22,895 You are darn right. 834 00:34:23,396 --> 00:34:27,066 It's high time Dusty sees how a real dad does it. 835 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,068 I am fired up! 836 00:34:29,485 --> 00:34:30,486 (SIGHS) 837 00:34:30,737 --> 00:34:32,113 Let's get some shut-eye. 838 00:34:32,905 --> 00:34:34,657 (FUNK MUSIC PLAYING) 839 00:34:45,752 --> 00:34:47,670 (CHILDREN CHEERING) 840 00:35:14,197 --> 00:35:15,698 (ALL CHEERING) 841 00:35:27,293 --> 00:35:28,294 Hallelujah! 842 00:35:35,218 --> 00:35:36,886 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 843 00:35:37,804 --> 00:35:40,306 Hey, dudes! Hey, T.J.! 844 00:35:52,485 --> 00:35:54,028 Brad! Look what Dad did! 845 00:35:54,111 --> 00:35:56,531 He finished the treehouse for you! 846 00:35:56,823 --> 00:35:58,491 Hey, hey! B-man! 847 00:36:00,827 --> 00:36:02,328 No, watch out, B! 848 00:36:02,453 --> 00:36:03,746 (BRAD GROANING) 849 00:36:04,121 --> 00:36:05,623 Hey, Brad. Sorry about that. 850 00:36:05,706 --> 00:36:06,833 - You all right? - (CONTINUES GROANING) 851 00:36:06,916 --> 00:36:07,917 Brad, what do you think, man? 852 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:09,627 Wow. Pretty cool zipline. 853 00:36:09,752 --> 00:36:11,352 You like that, huh? It's military grade. 854 00:36:11,587 --> 00:36:13,089 You built all this today? With my tools? 855 00:36:13,172 --> 00:36:15,925 Oh, no, you can't build a treehouse with a tampon, Brad. 856 00:36:16,008 --> 00:36:17,593 No, I had a little bit of help. 857 00:36:17,844 --> 00:36:19,762 Yo, Dylan, PS4 is all hooked up. 858 00:36:19,971 --> 00:36:21,764 - Thanks, Uncle Griff. - No problem, buddy. 859 00:36:21,889 --> 00:36:22,932 Uncle Griff? 860 00:36:23,224 --> 00:36:24,784 Dude, I went out for a beer last night, 861 00:36:24,809 --> 00:36:26,435 and who's tending bar but our man Griffy? 862 00:36:26,519 --> 00:36:28,521 We get to talking and we just click. You know what I mean? 863 00:36:28,771 --> 00:36:30,690 He's a great dude, man. He really is. 864 00:36:30,773 --> 00:36:33,054 I know how you feel about him, but just give him a chance. 865 00:36:33,109 --> 00:36:35,069 All right? He's having a tough time at home, 866 00:36:35,152 --> 00:36:36,904 and your firing him sure didn't help. 867 00:36:37,113 --> 00:36:38,573 Well, I fired him because you made me! 868 00:36:38,656 --> 00:36:39,740 - I made you? - Yeah. 869 00:36:39,824 --> 00:36:41,951 Am I in charge around here now? Is my name on the mortgage? 870 00:36:42,076 --> 00:36:43,536 Last time I checked, you were the man of the house, 871 00:36:43,619 --> 00:36:45,219 and me and Griffy were just staying here. 872 00:36:45,246 --> 00:36:47,046 - He's not staying here. - Because he's black? 873 00:36:47,164 --> 00:36:48,374 No, not because of that. 874 00:36:48,457 --> 00:36:50,501 Look, Griffy helped me knock this out, all right? 875 00:36:50,626 --> 00:36:52,670 So despite any prejudices that you may or may not have... 876 00:36:52,795 --> 00:36:54,422 I don't have any prejudices. 877 00:36:54,505 --> 00:36:55,715 I said "may or may not." 878 00:36:55,798 --> 00:36:56,924 - Well, it's may not. - Well, that's good. 879 00:36:57,008 --> 00:36:58,634 Because that's one of the ones I said. 880 00:36:58,926 --> 00:37:00,469 Hey, kids, come on. Helmets on the half-pipe. 881 00:37:00,553 --> 00:37:01,753 We got to be safe around here. 882 00:37:01,804 --> 00:37:02,930 Wait, half-pipe? 883 00:37:05,099 --> 00:37:07,101 Look, I know it's taking up a lot of the yard, but it's gonna make 884 00:37:07,184 --> 00:37:08,644 your house the coolest place in the neighborhood. 885 00:37:08,769 --> 00:37:10,271 I got a sound system, we got 886 00:37:10,396 --> 00:37:12,023 a couple Go-Pros. That's Corey from Red Bull over there. 887 00:37:12,106 --> 00:37:13,482 Hey, Corey! 888 00:37:13,774 --> 00:37:14,901 You got a sponsor for my backyard? 889 00:37:14,984 --> 00:37:17,320 Hey, Mr. Mayron! You want next? 890 00:37:17,486 --> 00:37:19,155 Nicholas, please, it's Dusty! 891 00:37:19,488 --> 00:37:21,657 And, yes, I do. Brad, watch this run. 892 00:37:23,618 --> 00:37:25,912 I'm gonna dedicate this run to my future X-Games champs, 893 00:37:25,995 --> 00:37:27,955 Dylan and Megan. This is for you! 894 00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:29,707 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 895 00:37:50,102 --> 00:37:51,395 (BLOWS) 896 00:37:51,479 --> 00:37:54,649 Looks like you picked the wrong leisure activity, buddy. 897 00:38:03,157 --> 00:38:04,450 (ALL CHEERING) 898 00:38:04,533 --> 00:38:05,868 Thank you. 899 00:38:06,327 --> 00:38:07,954 - Oh, hey, Sara. - Hi. 900 00:38:08,037 --> 00:38:09,205 Okay. Who's got next? 901 00:38:09,330 --> 00:38:10,665 BRAD: I do! 902 00:38:14,210 --> 00:38:15,711 Look! 903 00:38:16,754 --> 00:38:18,255 (ALL GASPING) 904 00:38:18,339 --> 00:38:20,508 Some cute little tricks there, Dusty. 905 00:38:21,050 --> 00:38:22,468 (LAUGHS) 906 00:38:22,551 --> 00:38:23,552 Really adorable. 907 00:38:23,844 --> 00:38:24,845 Brad? 908 00:38:25,054 --> 00:38:26,347 Hey, who'd like to see how we used to do it 909 00:38:26,430 --> 00:38:28,724 back in the empty pools of Encino, 910 00:38:29,016 --> 00:38:30,977 Castaic, Irvine, Long Beach? 911 00:38:31,435 --> 00:38:32,895 Santa Clarita? 912 00:38:33,980 --> 00:38:35,314 Santa Cruz? 913 00:38:35,898 --> 00:38:36,899 Fremont? 914 00:38:37,233 --> 00:38:39,151 Honey, no, please come down. 915 00:38:39,235 --> 00:38:41,737 Oh, I intend to, sister. 916 00:38:42,780 --> 00:38:45,157 Come on, Brad, it hasn't been that long. 917 00:38:45,241 --> 00:38:46,409 Godspeed. 918 00:38:46,826 --> 00:38:48,369 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 919 00:38:48,786 --> 00:38:50,246 - (GRUNTS) - ALL: Whoa! 920 00:38:51,914 --> 00:38:53,666 - (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) - (SCREAMING) 921 00:38:56,252 --> 00:38:58,004 Oh, my God! Brad! 922 00:38:58,087 --> 00:38:59,630 Oh, no, it's best not to touch him. Wait a second. 923 00:38:59,714 --> 00:39:01,298 What do you mean, don't touch him? He's in trouble. 924 00:39:01,382 --> 00:39:02,925 Look, I know he's in trouble, okay? 925 00:39:03,050 --> 00:39:04,760 But if there's a problem, who do you want to be in charge? 926 00:39:04,885 --> 00:39:05,886 You? 927 00:39:05,970 --> 00:39:07,972 Okay. All right, guys, we have an emergency situation. 928 00:39:08,055 --> 00:39:10,266 And what's the first thing we do? Anybody? 929 00:39:10,891 --> 00:39:12,560 - You! Redhead. - Call 911. 930 00:39:12,768 --> 00:39:16,063 Close. But wrong. First thing we do is remain calm. 931 00:39:16,147 --> 00:39:17,189 Yeah, that's good advice. 932 00:39:17,273 --> 00:39:19,692 The 911 operator can't understand you if you're hysterical, okay? 933 00:39:19,775 --> 00:39:21,819 So let's all take a deep breath. In for ten... 934 00:39:21,902 --> 00:39:23,988 Are you kidding me right now? Help him! 935 00:39:24,071 --> 00:39:25,948 Hey, that doesn't sound calm, Sara. 936 00:39:26,032 --> 00:39:27,908 Now, please, call 911 and relate to the dispatcher 937 00:39:27,992 --> 00:39:29,827 - what happened calmly, okay? - Okay, yes. 938 00:39:29,910 --> 00:39:31,704 Anybody know what we do next? 939 00:39:31,787 --> 00:39:33,039 Check for pulse! 940 00:39:33,122 --> 00:39:35,041 Nice! My star pupil! Come on up here. 941 00:39:35,124 --> 00:39:37,293 All right! Okay, two fingers on the neck, 942 00:39:37,543 --> 00:39:38,669 right below the ear. 943 00:39:38,753 --> 00:39:40,671 - Good. You feel a heartbeat? - Uh-uh. 944 00:39:41,130 --> 00:39:44,800 Okay, now that means that Brad here is now clinically... Anybody? 945 00:39:45,009 --> 00:39:46,343 - You, Jean Jacket! - Dead? 946 00:39:46,510 --> 00:39:47,887 Attaboy, Jean Jacket. You're a smart kid. 947 00:39:47,970 --> 00:39:49,013 He is dead. 948 00:39:49,096 --> 00:39:51,682 All right, so what do we do? Come on, we're losing him here. 949 00:39:51,766 --> 00:39:53,309 Give him C.P.R.? 950 00:39:53,601 --> 00:39:55,936 Yes! That's my girl. Come on up here, sweetie. 951 00:39:56,145 --> 00:39:59,815 All right! All right, lock your fingers like this and press down hard right here. 952 00:40:00,107 --> 00:40:01,707 - (GRUNTING) - Oh, great job, sweetheart. 953 00:40:01,817 --> 00:40:02,817 Dusty, hurry! 954 00:40:02,860 --> 00:40:04,660 Okay, I'm going to go ahead and take this one. 955 00:40:04,779 --> 00:40:05,988 Okay? Watch closely now. 956 00:40:06,113 --> 00:40:07,948 If you do your chest compressions properly, 957 00:40:08,032 --> 00:40:10,326 it shouldn't take long. Clear out, guys. 958 00:40:10,493 --> 00:40:11,786 (WHIRRING) 959 00:40:13,162 --> 00:40:14,413 (GASPING) 960 00:40:14,497 --> 00:40:15,956 - I got him! I got him! - (COUGHING) 961 00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:17,416 (ALL CHEERING) 962 00:40:18,834 --> 00:40:21,420 My dad can bring people back from the dead! 963 00:40:21,504 --> 00:40:22,671 (GROANING) 964 00:40:22,838 --> 00:40:24,882 Mr. Whitaker's a zombie! 965 00:40:25,007 --> 00:40:26,592 (MUTTERING) 966 00:40:28,511 --> 00:40:32,348 Look, I'm okay, really. I just got a little jolt. 967 00:40:32,431 --> 00:40:34,850 You got a little killed is what you got, Brad. 968 00:40:35,184 --> 00:40:36,852 We thought we lost you. 969 00:40:37,186 --> 00:40:38,562 Okay, I'm sorry. 970 00:40:38,687 --> 00:40:40,689 I just got tired of being the lame stepdad. 971 00:40:40,815 --> 00:40:42,650 All the kids think he's Superman. 972 00:40:42,858 --> 00:40:44,527 Well, now you know how I felt. 973 00:40:44,860 --> 00:40:46,445 I always had to be the bad guy mom, 974 00:40:46,529 --> 00:40:49,031 giving out the carrots and the punishments, 975 00:40:49,323 --> 00:40:51,867 and he would breeze in from God only knows where 976 00:40:51,992 --> 00:40:53,953 and get to be the cool, fun dad. 977 00:40:54,036 --> 00:40:55,996 Honey. Look. (SIGHS) 978 00:40:56,372 --> 00:40:57,832 I'll talk to him, okay? 979 00:40:57,915 --> 00:40:59,125 I'll tell him to get his stuff 980 00:40:59,208 --> 00:41:01,418 and get over to the Red Roof Inn. Pronto. 981 00:41:01,877 --> 00:41:02,878 Great. 982 00:41:03,712 --> 00:41:05,131 (TV PLAYING) 983 00:41:06,382 --> 00:41:09,385 Wait. Prince Hans is actually the bad guy? 984 00:41:09,677 --> 00:41:11,157 Man, I didn't see that coming at all. 985 00:41:11,220 --> 00:41:12,660 He seemed like he really loved Anna. 986 00:41:13,055 --> 00:41:14,140 MEGAN: I hate Prince Hans. 987 00:41:14,223 --> 00:41:15,432 Dusty. 988 00:41:15,683 --> 00:41:17,476 - Hey, how you feeling, Sparky? - (CHUCKLES) 989 00:41:18,018 --> 00:41:19,687 Sparky. That's hilarious. 990 00:41:19,770 --> 00:41:20,980 DUSTY: Brad, have you seen this movie? 991 00:41:21,063 --> 00:41:22,314 It's unbelievable, man. 992 00:41:22,398 --> 00:41:24,518 There's these two sisters, one of them has ice powers. 993 00:41:24,567 --> 00:41:26,443 Yeah, I'm familiar with Frozen. 994 00:41:27,361 --> 00:41:29,071 Listen, Dusty, I need to talk to you now. 995 00:41:29,155 --> 00:41:30,197 I can't talk now, Brad. 996 00:41:30,281 --> 00:41:31,407 Just pause the movie! 997 00:41:31,490 --> 00:41:32,825 Can you guys talk out there, please? 998 00:41:32,908 --> 00:41:34,076 Griff, man. You gotta pause it, man. 999 00:41:34,243 --> 00:41:35,494 No! I don't want to ruin the momentum. 1000 00:41:35,578 --> 00:41:38,747 He won't... Dude, if another song comes on, you got to pause it. Okay? 1001 00:41:38,831 --> 00:41:40,249 Am I supposed to pause my emotions? 1002 00:41:40,332 --> 00:41:41,792 Just pause the song, man. 1003 00:41:42,209 --> 00:41:44,003 What's up? What's up? What's going on, Brad? 1004 00:41:44,086 --> 00:41:45,686 - This shouldn't take long. - Okay, good. 1005 00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,007 Listen, um, I just think that you're being here... 1006 00:41:48,090 --> 00:41:49,967 Yeah. No problem. 1007 00:41:50,050 --> 00:41:51,468 ...and now there's Griff here, 1008 00:41:51,594 --> 00:41:53,053 it's presenting some obstacles... 1009 00:41:53,179 --> 00:41:54,263 (SOBBING) 1010 00:41:55,306 --> 00:41:56,515 Stupid helmet! 1011 00:41:56,765 --> 00:41:57,892 Honey, what happened? 1012 00:41:57,975 --> 00:41:59,310 They pushed me off my bike again! 1013 00:41:59,393 --> 00:42:00,811 - I'm so sick of it! - (CLATTERING) 1014 00:42:06,275 --> 00:42:08,903 I want them dead, Brad. All right? I want their parents dead. 1015 00:42:08,986 --> 00:42:10,196 And if they don't have parents, I want 1016 00:42:10,279 --> 00:42:12,198 their primary caregivers dead. Do you understand me? 1017 00:42:12,281 --> 00:42:13,365 - Okay, okay. - He's okay. 1018 00:42:13,449 --> 00:42:16,076 Megan's upstairs playing with him. I am so pissed about this. 1019 00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:17,286 Was it the fourth graders again? 1020 00:42:17,369 --> 00:42:19,663 Fourth graders? What, you knew about this, Brad? 1021 00:42:19,747 --> 00:42:22,291 Yeah. Dylan asked to speak specifically to me about it. 1022 00:42:22,416 --> 00:42:23,751 - Really? - So, we role-played 1023 00:42:23,834 --> 00:42:25,294 some conflict resolution dialogue. 1024 00:42:25,377 --> 00:42:26,897 Are you being serious right now, Brad? 1025 00:42:26,962 --> 00:42:29,381 What you need to be teaching him is some ass-beating resolution. 1026 00:42:29,465 --> 00:42:32,801 Damn straight. You got to make a statement. Set a tone. 1027 00:42:32,885 --> 00:42:35,095 It's kind of a family matter over here. 1028 00:42:35,179 --> 00:42:36,639 No, Dusty and Griff are right. 1029 00:42:36,805 --> 00:42:38,525 Those little punks need their butts whooped. 1030 00:42:38,557 --> 00:42:39,892 Hey, you got any Miracle Whip? 1031 00:42:39,975 --> 00:42:41,255 Yeah, it's behind the... (SIGHS) 1032 00:42:41,352 --> 00:42:43,687 Here. Hold on. Let me just get it for you. 1033 00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:47,483 Guys, I know we're upset right now, 1034 00:42:47,858 --> 00:42:49,568 but here's the thing. 1035 00:42:50,110 --> 00:42:51,779 Violence never solved anything. 1036 00:42:51,904 --> 00:42:52,947 Hey, check your history books, buddy. 1037 00:42:53,030 --> 00:42:54,365 Almost everything is solved by violence. 1038 00:42:54,448 --> 00:42:55,783 There are better ways. 1039 00:42:55,908 --> 00:42:58,494 Okay. Name one. Besides dialoguing. 1040 00:42:58,619 --> 00:43:00,162 - Name one? - Name one! 1041 00:43:00,496 --> 00:43:02,248 - What do you mean, name one? - You said you could 1042 00:43:02,331 --> 00:43:03,624 solve problems with things other than fighting. 1043 00:43:03,707 --> 00:43:04,792 - What are you gonna do? - I don't know. 1044 00:43:04,875 --> 00:43:07,127 Well, you said you knew! You act like you knew! 1045 00:43:07,211 --> 00:43:08,295 - Fine, yes! - What? 1046 00:43:08,379 --> 00:43:10,047 Dancing! Dancing. 1047 00:43:13,050 --> 00:43:15,344 Did you... Did you just say dancing, Brad? 1048 00:43:15,427 --> 00:43:19,181 It's very popular in youth culture to resolve conflict through dancing. 1049 00:43:19,390 --> 00:43:21,684 They step up to each other and get served 1050 00:43:21,850 --> 00:43:24,186 by crunking, or popping and locking. 1051 00:43:24,270 --> 00:43:26,522 They call each other out, they take turns, 1052 00:43:26,689 --> 00:43:30,401 and it is no less intense than a classic street brawl. 1053 00:43:30,693 --> 00:43:33,737 But, at the end of the day, no one's hurt. 1054 00:43:34,071 --> 00:43:36,407 And it's a great aerobic workout. 1055 00:43:36,865 --> 00:43:39,743 He's flailing a bit, but he has a good point. 1056 00:43:39,868 --> 00:43:42,079 There's a rich history of dance battles in film. 1057 00:43:42,413 --> 00:43:44,373 - You got Breakin' 1... - I didn't even think of this. 1058 00:43:44,456 --> 00:43:46,458 ...Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo. 1059 00:43:46,542 --> 00:43:48,294 One of the rare cases where the sequel was better 1060 00:43:48,377 --> 00:43:49,628 - than the original. - Much better. 1061 00:43:49,712 --> 00:43:51,547 You got Step Up, Stomp the Yard. 1062 00:43:51,630 --> 00:43:53,215 He makes a solid point. 1063 00:43:53,590 --> 00:43:56,176 Honey, are you telling us that we should teach Dylan to dance? 1064 00:43:56,260 --> 00:43:58,304 (SIGHS) No, I'm just saying 1065 00:43:58,762 --> 00:44:00,482 that teaching him to fight isn't the answer. 1066 00:44:00,514 --> 00:44:03,934 Okay, but maybe teaching him to fight back isn't so bad? 1067 00:44:05,936 --> 00:44:07,187 BRAD: Okay. 1068 00:44:08,272 --> 00:44:12,109 There we go. Perfect. That's good, right there. 1069 00:44:13,110 --> 00:44:14,737 Yeah. A lot of protection. 1070 00:44:19,616 --> 00:44:20,826 All right, Dylan. You ready, buddy? 1071 00:44:20,909 --> 00:44:22,286 - I guess. - Oh, you're ready. 1072 00:44:22,369 --> 00:44:24,496 Brad, Griff. You guys be the fourth graders. 1073 00:44:24,580 --> 00:44:26,165 - I'll be Dylan. - Okay. 1074 00:44:26,373 --> 00:44:28,751 All right. Hey, buddy, the first thing you want to do 1075 00:44:28,834 --> 00:44:30,502 is call out the biggest one. 1076 00:44:30,836 --> 00:44:32,504 Hey! What's the matter? 1077 00:44:32,713 --> 00:44:33,839 You too much of a pussy to take me on 1078 00:44:33,922 --> 00:44:35,602 without your little bitches to back you up? 1079 00:44:36,133 --> 00:44:39,678 Wow. Okay, yes. That cut right through me, there. 1080 00:44:39,803 --> 00:44:41,805 I'm filled with inner shame right now. 1081 00:44:42,097 --> 00:44:44,308 Saying to myself, "Gosh, maybe I'm not behaving 1082 00:44:44,391 --> 00:44:47,478 "100% the way I want to." Right? Is that same page? 1083 00:44:47,561 --> 00:44:49,881 No. What the kid's gonna think is, "Now I can beat your ass 1084 00:44:49,938 --> 00:44:52,608 "all on my own." But now you only got one bully to contend with. 1085 00:44:52,775 --> 00:44:54,443 Now bullies always open up with some shoving first. 1086 00:44:54,526 --> 00:44:56,362 - Watch. Brad, give me a little shove. - All right. 1087 00:44:56,445 --> 00:44:57,446 (YELPS) 1088 00:44:57,529 --> 00:44:58,697 Whoa, I didn't connect there, did I? 1089 00:44:58,781 --> 00:45:00,449 No. It was really close, though. 1090 00:45:00,949 --> 00:45:03,410 See what I did, buddy? I turned my body just enough 1091 00:45:03,494 --> 00:45:06,014 to let his weight bring him in, then I came right down Broadway. 1092 00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:07,623 - I'm not gonna hit you. - Oh. 1093 00:45:07,706 --> 00:45:10,084 - Okay, relax. Okay? - Mmm-hmm. 1094 00:45:10,167 --> 00:45:11,210 - Bam! - (ALL GASPS) 1095 00:45:11,293 --> 00:45:12,461 It's called the element of surprise. 1096 00:45:12,586 --> 00:45:13,962 Then you start punking his ass! 1097 00:45:14,088 --> 00:45:16,173 You want some more of that, bitch, huh? You like that, bitch? 1098 00:45:16,298 --> 00:45:18,008 All right. Do we really need to use that word? 1099 00:45:18,092 --> 00:45:19,218 - No. - Honey, yes. 1100 00:45:19,301 --> 00:45:20,844 Unfortunately, we do. I'm sorry. 1101 00:45:20,928 --> 00:45:22,763 You have to make him a bitch. 1102 00:45:22,888 --> 00:45:24,848 It's a fundamental step in destroying a bully's psyche. 1103 00:45:25,015 --> 00:45:26,308 Now stay down, bitch! 1104 00:45:26,392 --> 00:45:27,893 Then you kick that kid right in the nuts! 1105 00:45:27,976 --> 00:45:29,096 Kick him in the nuts, Dylan! 1106 00:45:29,144 --> 00:45:30,479 Wait! I thought you were in my gang. 1107 00:45:30,562 --> 00:45:32,898 Yeah, but once Dylan tuned you up, I switched sides. 1108 00:45:32,981 --> 00:45:34,733 What do you think happens out there on the playground, Brad? 1109 00:45:34,817 --> 00:45:36,568 All right, now come on, buddy. It's your turn. All right? 1110 00:45:36,693 --> 00:45:37,945 I'll be the fourth grader. 1111 00:45:38,070 --> 00:45:39,905 Can I just go inside already, please? 1112 00:45:39,988 --> 00:45:41,949 Hey, buddy come on, this is easy. You can do this. 1113 00:45:42,032 --> 00:45:43,826 I said, no! I don't like this stuff. 1114 00:45:43,951 --> 00:45:46,495 I'll just stay away from them from now on. Mom? 1115 00:45:46,620 --> 00:45:47,788 Okay, come here, buddy. 1116 00:45:47,871 --> 00:45:49,039 - Come on. It's all right. - Brad. 1117 00:45:49,164 --> 00:45:50,666 Help me out here. Come on. 1118 00:45:52,251 --> 00:45:53,419 Hey, wait. 1119 00:45:54,253 --> 00:45:56,046 Pal, listen... 1120 00:45:56,338 --> 00:45:58,338 I know what it's like to be afraid to go to school. 1121 00:45:58,382 --> 00:46:00,050 Okay? When I was your age, 1122 00:46:00,342 --> 00:46:02,719 this group of older kids started picking on me. 1123 00:46:03,679 --> 00:46:05,764 I ran and I cried underneath the bleachers. 1124 00:46:05,848 --> 00:46:08,851 They bothered me every day, because they knew 1125 00:46:09,601 --> 00:46:10,936 I was too afraid to face them. 1126 00:46:11,645 --> 00:46:13,772 Until one day, I'd had enough. 1127 00:46:14,022 --> 00:46:16,191 And I socked Jesse Hubbard right in the nose. 1128 00:46:16,525 --> 00:46:18,527 Really? And they left you alone? 1129 00:46:18,902 --> 00:46:20,237 Damn right they did. 1130 00:46:23,866 --> 00:46:25,868 Brad. (SOFTLY) That was good. 1131 00:46:26,452 --> 00:46:29,997 Come here, buddy. Hey, I'm proud of you. All right? 1132 00:46:30,205 --> 00:46:31,331 Now, look at me. I want you to 1133 00:46:31,415 --> 00:46:32,708 punch them right in the Adam's apple. Okay? 1134 00:46:32,791 --> 00:46:34,668 I want you to shatter their throat. 1135 00:46:34,751 --> 00:46:36,253 Hold on, hold on. 1136 00:46:37,379 --> 00:46:41,133 I'm sorry. Look, I'm having a pang of guilt right now. 1137 00:46:41,216 --> 00:46:43,010 Full disclosure. Some of the elements 1138 00:46:43,093 --> 00:46:44,413 of my story weren't exactly true. 1139 00:46:45,262 --> 00:46:47,264 Um, the incessant crying, 100% true. 1140 00:46:47,556 --> 00:46:50,726 The constant bullying, absolutely, it all happened, but I, uh... 1141 00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:53,687 I've never punched anyone in my life. 1142 00:46:53,896 --> 00:46:55,063 I could have told you that. 1143 00:46:55,355 --> 00:46:57,733 - Then what did you do? - Yeah, what did you do? 1144 00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:00,486 Well, nothing at all. In fact, sixth grade was so rough, 1145 00:47:00,569 --> 00:47:02,237 I changed my name to 1146 00:47:02,905 --> 00:47:04,114 Devin Lacecock. 1147 00:47:04,198 --> 00:47:05,866 Why the hell would you tell him that? 1148 00:47:06,241 --> 00:47:08,243 I pretended to be blind for an entire school year, 1149 00:47:08,410 --> 00:47:10,078 just to elicit empathy. 1150 00:47:10,579 --> 00:47:12,247 Which was great until 1151 00:47:12,539 --> 00:47:15,751 they found me intently watching an episode of M*A*S*H. 1152 00:47:16,251 --> 00:47:17,961 In fact, it got so bad, my parents had to refinance 1153 00:47:18,045 --> 00:47:19,588 our house to put me in private school. 1154 00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:23,091 Let's just do that. Can I go to private school, please? 1155 00:47:23,550 --> 00:47:25,761 No, Dylan, we can't do that. Want to know why? 1156 00:47:26,762 --> 00:47:28,472 Because ever since that day, 1157 00:47:28,931 --> 00:47:30,682 I've always run away from conflict. 1158 00:47:31,266 --> 00:47:35,938 In fact, if I had a dad like Dusty when I was your age, maybe 1159 00:47:36,396 --> 00:47:38,899 he could have taught me how to stand up for myself. 1160 00:47:39,441 --> 00:47:41,610 So, wait. You're saying, 1161 00:47:41,735 --> 00:47:43,946 if I don't stick up for myself now, 1162 00:47:44,154 --> 00:47:46,448 I'll grow up to be a huge wussy like you? 1163 00:47:46,782 --> 00:47:51,453 Um, yes. That is the basic gist of what I'm saying. Yes. 1164 00:47:51,787 --> 00:47:53,789 Okay. Then let's do this. 1165 00:47:54,206 --> 00:47:55,749 DUSTY: Come on, buddy, you got this. 1166 00:47:55,832 --> 00:47:56,917 Give me something. Come on. 1167 00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:58,752 Faster, harder, meaner, stronger. 1168 00:47:58,835 --> 00:48:00,087 You're fast, you're good. 1169 00:48:00,170 --> 00:48:01,570 You're a winner. You're a champion. 1170 00:48:01,630 --> 00:48:04,550 They got to let you off the leash, baby. We got a little pit bull here. 1171 00:48:05,467 --> 00:48:08,470 That was really nice, you guys. Good job. 1172 00:48:08,554 --> 00:48:10,722 It was really fun to watch the two of you working together 1173 00:48:10,806 --> 00:48:13,267 like a couple of great co-dads. 1174 00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:14,768 Yeah. 1175 00:48:15,310 --> 00:48:17,646 Co-dads. That's... 1176 00:48:18,313 --> 00:48:19,439 That's good stuff. 1177 00:48:19,648 --> 00:48:22,150 You know what? In that same spirit of unity, 1178 00:48:23,110 --> 00:48:24,528 I want to show my gratitude for your inviting me 1179 00:48:24,653 --> 00:48:26,363 to stay here and share moments like these. 1180 00:48:26,488 --> 00:48:28,615 Oh, about that, Dusty. When I pulled you over there, actually... 1181 00:48:28,740 --> 00:48:31,201 No, what you've done here does not go unnoticed. 1182 00:48:31,285 --> 00:48:32,661 And I repay my debts. 1183 00:48:32,953 --> 00:48:34,705 Look, Sara, I know how much you want another child. 1184 00:48:34,830 --> 00:48:36,670 I think I can help put a baby in there for you. 1185 00:48:36,707 --> 00:48:38,417 - Oh, my God! - What are you saying? 1186 00:48:38,500 --> 00:48:40,669 - I mean I got a guy. - Dusty, please! You got a guy? 1187 00:48:40,752 --> 00:48:42,629 Yes, I got a guy. A fertility doctor. 1188 00:48:42,713 --> 00:48:44,994 He's a buddy of mine. I trained him for his first Ironman. 1189 00:48:45,048 --> 00:48:47,050 All right? Dr. Francisco is the real deal. 1190 00:48:47,342 --> 00:48:49,344 - Dr. Emilio Francisco? - You've heard of him? 1191 00:48:49,469 --> 00:48:51,013 Oh, my God, yeah. 1192 00:48:51,179 --> 00:48:53,056 He's been on Dr. Oz like 10 times. 1193 00:48:53,181 --> 00:48:54,433 Yeah, he's one of the top five 1194 00:48:54,516 --> 00:48:56,393 reproductive endocrinologists in the country. 1195 00:48:56,518 --> 00:48:59,313 See? People wait years to get an appointment with this guy. 1196 00:48:59,396 --> 00:49:00,731 Do you really think he would see us? 1197 00:49:00,814 --> 00:49:02,774 - Whoa, whoa, hold on. - I know he would. 1198 00:49:02,858 --> 00:49:05,402 If anybody can help you have a baby, he can. 1199 00:49:05,861 --> 00:49:07,237 Mommy's going to have a baby? 1200 00:49:07,321 --> 00:49:08,614 Cool! Can we name it Griff? 1201 00:49:08,697 --> 00:49:09,781 Oh, thanks, D-man. 1202 00:49:09,865 --> 00:49:12,034 Look, you guys, I don't know if this is a good idea. 1203 00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:13,952 What, you don't wanna name your baby after a black person? 1204 00:49:14,036 --> 00:49:15,162 - Is that it? - No! 1205 00:49:15,245 --> 00:49:16,705 You probably want to name it something really white, 1206 00:49:16,788 --> 00:49:18,540 like Connor or Gordon. 1207 00:49:19,207 --> 00:49:22,919 Harland, or Scot with one T. Or Brad. 1208 00:49:23,003 --> 00:49:25,631 No, no, Griff is a lovely name. I'm just saying, 1209 00:49:26,089 --> 00:49:28,216 I don't think it's a good idea to get our hopes up, 1210 00:49:29,051 --> 00:49:31,094 because, in the end, 1211 00:49:31,219 --> 00:49:33,722 odds are, I'm going to let you down. 1212 00:49:34,389 --> 00:49:35,807 Okay, honey, but what if 1213 00:49:35,891 --> 00:49:38,685 I promise, promise, promise not to get my hopes up? 1214 00:49:39,102 --> 00:49:41,063 We could just try, right? It can't hurt. 1215 00:49:42,439 --> 00:49:45,400 Okay, sure. But you can't get your hopes up. 1216 00:49:45,567 --> 00:49:46,735 No. I won't, I won't! Thank you! 1217 00:49:46,818 --> 00:49:48,820 I feel like you've already gotten your hopes up. 1218 00:49:50,030 --> 00:49:51,531 - Where are you going? - Nowhere! 1219 00:49:51,615 --> 00:49:53,283 - You calling your mother? - No! 1220 00:49:53,492 --> 00:49:55,494 Okay, yes, but it's about something else. 1221 00:49:55,786 --> 00:49:57,204 It's not about something else. 1222 00:49:57,621 --> 00:49:59,414 Damn it, Brad, he set you up. 1223 00:49:59,790 --> 00:50:03,001 He used this fancy doctor to get your wife back on the baby train. 1224 00:50:03,335 --> 00:50:07,255 When those test results come back and prove that you can't give her a baby, 1225 00:50:07,756 --> 00:50:09,925 guess who's gonna be waiting there cocked and loaded? 1226 00:50:10,300 --> 00:50:12,344 Well, I trust my wife, 1227 00:50:12,678 --> 00:50:14,838 so we really don't need to keep talking about it, okay? 1228 00:50:14,930 --> 00:50:16,598 Let me tell you a little story, Brad. 1229 00:50:16,973 --> 00:50:21,103 When Jeneane, my fourth, and I were returning from our honeymoon, 1230 00:50:21,186 --> 00:50:23,230 she told me that she had a 23-year-old kid. 1231 00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:26,316 Brazilian boy. Said she had him real young. 1232 00:50:26,608 --> 00:50:27,734 So he moves in with us. 1233 00:50:28,026 --> 00:50:29,444 Doesn't speak a lick of English. 1234 00:50:29,653 --> 00:50:32,823 There are the usual tensions. I try to assert my authority. 1235 00:50:33,156 --> 00:50:35,701 "Andreas, get your feet off the furniture." 1236 00:50:35,909 --> 00:50:38,745 "Andreas, you're too old to sleep in bed with Mommy." 1237 00:50:39,162 --> 00:50:41,790 "Andreas, you got to stay off the 'roids." 1238 00:50:42,124 --> 00:50:44,543 And he'd get mad, and hit me with a car antenna. 1239 00:50:45,127 --> 00:50:46,795 Eh... Maybe that's the way kids are. 1240 00:50:47,003 --> 00:50:48,463 No. Not really. 1241 00:50:48,547 --> 00:50:51,049 So I adopt him, help him get his citizenship. 1242 00:50:51,550 --> 00:50:54,428 The second the papers come through, guess what happens? 1243 00:50:54,636 --> 00:50:55,636 I already know. 1244 00:50:55,679 --> 00:50:57,681 Bam! They shack up together in Barstow. 1245 00:50:57,806 --> 00:50:59,725 It turns out Andreas 1246 00:50:59,808 --> 00:51:01,643 - is her boyfriend, Brad. - Mmm-hmm. 1247 00:51:02,018 --> 00:51:03,687 I did not see it coming. 1248 00:51:03,812 --> 00:51:08,150 I actually did, about one, two words into your story. 1249 00:51:08,233 --> 00:51:09,901 The moral of this fable is, 1250 00:51:09,985 --> 00:51:11,611 it's good to know when you're beaten. 1251 00:51:12,154 --> 00:51:14,698 - You know I think the world of you, Brad. - Thank you. 1252 00:51:14,823 --> 00:51:18,452 But if I'm being completely honest, even I'm rooting for Dusty. 1253 00:51:19,035 --> 00:51:20,579 He's just so damn likeable. 1254 00:51:21,371 --> 00:51:24,958 You know, it's getting kind of late. Shouldn't we just get back to work? 1255 00:51:25,375 --> 00:51:26,710 Okay, you win. 1256 00:51:27,544 --> 00:51:31,381 So where are we on The Panda Jam numbers for next summer? 1257 00:51:32,674 --> 00:51:35,051 London, you still on the conference call? 1258 00:51:37,053 --> 00:51:39,681 Dusty Mayron, you crazy hijo de puta! 1259 00:51:40,557 --> 00:51:42,476 - (LAUGHS) Hey, what's up, Doc? - (EXCLAIMING) 1260 00:51:42,559 --> 00:51:45,103 You look great, man. You still rocking those Ironmans, huh? 1261 00:51:45,187 --> 00:51:47,272 Yeah, bro. I just finished Brazil in 11:40. 1262 00:51:47,355 --> 00:51:49,115 - That's unbelievable. - Yeah. Well, come on. 1263 00:51:49,191 --> 00:51:50,400 Ain't nothing on you, man. 1264 00:51:50,525 --> 00:51:53,528 Hey, my first race, I'm limping across the finish line 1265 00:51:53,612 --> 00:51:54,988 when this bastard laps me. 1266 00:51:55,197 --> 00:51:56,573 I mean, come on, who wins an Ironman, 1267 00:51:56,698 --> 00:51:58,617 then decides to go around again? Who does that? 1268 00:51:58,700 --> 00:52:00,202 It sounds exhausting. 1269 00:52:00,494 --> 00:52:03,789 Hey, I'm Dr. Francisco. You must be Sara. 1270 00:52:03,955 --> 00:52:04,956 Hi. (LAUGHS) 1271 00:52:05,081 --> 00:52:08,251 Dusty, you were not lying about this one. Very nice. 1272 00:52:08,919 --> 00:52:10,128 And you weren't lying about this one either. 1273 00:52:10,212 --> 00:52:11,546 You must be Chief Glowing Sack. 1274 00:52:11,630 --> 00:52:13,340 What? (LAUGHS) 1275 00:52:13,423 --> 00:52:14,800 Hey, come on, I'm just lighting you up, man. 1276 00:52:14,883 --> 00:52:15,926 Come on, little hug. 1277 00:52:16,051 --> 00:52:18,887 Okay, come on back, y'all. Let's take a look. 1278 00:52:19,888 --> 00:52:21,389 All right. So let's run it down. 1279 00:52:21,890 --> 00:52:23,308 I think we can safely say 1280 00:52:23,391 --> 00:52:25,393 that your issue has nothing to do with X-rays. 1281 00:52:25,602 --> 00:52:28,188 You know what, sweetheart, come here. Let's see that pretty little hand. 1282 00:52:28,271 --> 00:52:29,940 Okay. Now put it right in here. 1283 00:52:30,232 --> 00:52:32,484 - Oh! - Okay, you feel that? 1284 00:52:32,567 --> 00:52:34,402 - Yeah. - Okay, that is not how you want 1285 00:52:34,486 --> 00:52:35,779 testicles to be shaped. 1286 00:52:35,904 --> 00:52:38,907 Really? It feels like all the other... 1287 00:52:39,074 --> 00:52:40,075 Hi. 1288 00:52:40,242 --> 00:52:42,702 Well, it cuts off blood flow, okay? Limits potency. 1289 00:52:42,786 --> 00:52:44,913 You want them to... You know what? Actually... 1290 00:52:45,580 --> 00:52:47,666 - Hey, Dusty! - Hey. 1291 00:52:47,749 --> 00:52:50,030 - Why is he coming in here? - Little help in here, please. 1292 00:52:50,126 --> 00:52:51,670 Oh, come on. You gotta put me through this every time? 1293 00:52:51,753 --> 00:52:53,255 - Come on. Be a sport. - All right. 1294 00:52:53,630 --> 00:52:54,870 Oh, my God! What are you doing? 1295 00:52:54,923 --> 00:52:56,424 Is this even ethical? 1296 00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:59,135 (GASPS) James and the Giant Peach. 1297 00:52:59,427 --> 00:53:00,512 (GULPS) 1298 00:53:00,595 --> 00:53:02,764 - Did you just gulp? - No. 1299 00:53:03,014 --> 00:53:04,516 It's okay, I gulp every time. 1300 00:53:05,016 --> 00:53:08,520 You see, this... This is what you want. 1301 00:53:08,854 --> 00:53:10,272 Plump and bulbous. 1302 00:53:10,689 --> 00:53:12,691 Glassy smooth, like 1303 00:53:12,774 --> 00:53:15,193 two Patrick Stewarts, you know what I mean? 1304 00:53:15,277 --> 00:53:17,320 Don't embarrass me in front of Sara like this anymore, okay? 1305 00:53:17,404 --> 00:53:18,697 DR. FRANCISCO: Hey, sorry, bro. 1306 00:53:18,780 --> 00:53:21,283 So, ready to milk the cow, see if we even got a sliver of hope here? 1307 00:53:21,366 --> 00:53:23,785 Hey, Dusty, come on, buddy. Want to try to break your own record? 1308 00:53:23,869 --> 00:53:24,911 Oh, no, I'm good. 1309 00:53:24,995 --> 00:53:26,872 DR. FRANCISCO: Hey, come on, man. I'm doing you a favor here. 1310 00:53:26,955 --> 00:53:29,165 Give me something to brag about at the next symposium. 1311 00:53:29,291 --> 00:53:32,544 All right, fine. You want to break the record, I gotta break the record. 1312 00:53:33,086 --> 00:53:35,088 (LAUGHS) Yeah. Kid came to play. 1313 00:53:35,547 --> 00:53:36,840 Should I grab a big cup, too? 1314 00:53:36,923 --> 00:53:38,003 What? Stop screwing around. 1315 00:53:38,133 --> 00:53:39,634 Come on. We're burning daylight here. 1316 00:53:46,766 --> 00:53:47,893 (DOOR OPENS) 1317 00:53:47,976 --> 00:53:49,769 (WOMEN TALKING INDISTINCTLY) 1318 00:53:50,854 --> 00:53:52,147 (SIGHS) 1319 00:53:56,318 --> 00:53:57,360 (ALL GASPING) 1320 00:53:57,444 --> 00:53:58,945 (ALL LAUGHING) 1321 00:54:08,872 --> 00:54:12,667 Hello. Quick question. How difficult would it be 1322 00:54:12,751 --> 00:54:15,587 for someone to whip up a batch of your Cinnabons? 1323 00:54:15,921 --> 00:54:17,839 Would you need restaurant-grade ovens? 1324 00:54:17,923 --> 00:54:19,925 Bradsky. Could you pass this along to Dusty? 1325 00:54:20,050 --> 00:54:21,384 It's his first resids check. 1326 00:54:21,509 --> 00:54:23,261 Disclaimer. It's more than you make. 1327 00:54:23,345 --> 00:54:25,013 - Don't get worried about it. - How much more than... 1328 00:54:25,138 --> 00:54:28,058 Oh, and tell him, 8:30 sharp at my house. 1329 00:54:28,433 --> 00:54:30,268 He doesn't need to bring anything. All right, buddy? 1330 00:54:30,352 --> 00:54:31,686 I've never been to your house. 1331 00:54:31,770 --> 00:54:33,188 No, you haven't. 1332 00:54:36,524 --> 00:54:39,861 SARA: Oh, my God, my hair, it looks awful. 1333 00:54:40,195 --> 00:54:41,529 Doesn't Mommy's hair look pretty? 1334 00:54:41,613 --> 00:54:43,365 - No. Next slide, please. - DUSTY: Oh, okay. 1335 00:54:43,698 --> 00:54:46,284 - Slides. Fun. - DUSTY: Aw... 1336 00:54:46,701 --> 00:54:48,370 Cool. You guys climbed that? 1337 00:54:48,620 --> 00:54:51,289 Yuck. Why are you guys kissing in every single picture? 1338 00:54:51,539 --> 00:54:53,541 Oh, Mommy used to kiss Daddy a lot. 1339 00:54:53,792 --> 00:54:55,377 SARA: Married people kiss a lot. 1340 00:54:55,502 --> 00:54:56,628 DUSTY: Ready? 1341 00:54:56,711 --> 00:54:58,046 Wow, China. 1342 00:54:58,338 --> 00:54:59,881 I loved it there. 1343 00:55:00,048 --> 00:55:02,300 Dylan, you were created right there on that wall, buddy. 1344 00:55:02,384 --> 00:55:04,052 - Really? - Dusty, that's enough. 1345 00:55:04,219 --> 00:55:06,471 - DUSTY: Okay, next slide. - (SARA LAUGHS) 1346 00:55:06,638 --> 00:55:09,641 That's where your mom and I met, doing The King and I in summer stock. 1347 00:55:10,225 --> 00:55:12,894 SARA: God, that costume was so tight. (LAUGHS) 1348 00:55:13,395 --> 00:55:15,230 Next slide, please. 1349 00:55:15,647 --> 00:55:16,982 Oh, my God. 1350 00:55:19,067 --> 00:55:20,777 - MEGAN: Is that baby me? - SARA: Mmm-hmm. 1351 00:55:32,914 --> 00:55:36,418 All right, you guys, let's, um, get ready for bed. 1352 00:55:36,918 --> 00:55:38,962 - Okay? - DUSTY: It's story time, Mayron family! 1353 00:55:39,045 --> 00:55:40,045 (CHILDREN CHEERING) 1354 00:55:40,088 --> 00:55:42,590 MEGAN: We don't have to wait for Mr. Whitaker, do we? 1355 00:55:42,674 --> 00:55:47,012 I really don't like you, but that shit is heartbreaking. 1356 00:55:51,266 --> 00:55:52,350 (DOOR CLOSING) 1357 00:55:52,434 --> 00:55:54,436 MEGAN: Yay! Griff's home! 1358 00:55:54,894 --> 00:55:56,312 So the King raised his mighty sword 1359 00:55:56,396 --> 00:55:58,606 and rained steel down upon the Step King. 1360 00:55:59,524 --> 00:56:01,284 But the Step King blocked it with his shield. 1361 00:56:02,110 --> 00:56:04,863 And swung his cat o'nine tails into the King's smug face. 1362 00:56:04,946 --> 00:56:07,615 Which the King easily brushed aside like the feather of a gull. 1363 00:56:07,699 --> 00:56:10,368 And then the King did counter with a barrage of slashes 1364 00:56:10,452 --> 00:56:13,747 and thrusts so fast and precise that the Step King had no way to parry. 1365 00:56:13,830 --> 00:56:14,873 BOTH: Yay! 1366 00:56:14,956 --> 00:56:17,375 But he did. He did. He parried all of them. 1367 00:56:17,459 --> 00:56:19,878 - Easily. It was no big deal. - BOTH: Aw. 1368 00:56:19,961 --> 00:56:22,630 Then he grabbed the King's sword right out of his hand 1369 00:56:23,214 --> 00:56:24,966 and smashed it over his knee. 1370 00:56:25,133 --> 00:56:26,176 BOTH: Boo! 1371 00:56:26,259 --> 00:56:28,845 That's when the King pulled out a pump-action Mossberg shotgun! 1372 00:56:28,928 --> 00:56:30,847 Which is completely anachronistic. 1373 00:56:31,097 --> 00:56:34,392 So if we're doing any time period, then the Step King just happened to be 1374 00:56:34,476 --> 00:56:36,311 wearing Kevlar body armor. 1375 00:56:36,561 --> 00:56:38,229 - Concussion grenade! - Hand grenade. 1376 00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:39,814 - Rocket launcher. - Missile launcher. 1377 00:56:39,898 --> 00:56:41,098 - Air strike. - Nuclear strike. 1378 00:56:41,149 --> 00:56:42,609 - Black hole. - God. 1379 00:56:42,984 --> 00:56:44,319 We know what this comes down to. 1380 00:56:44,569 --> 00:56:47,072 The Step King was very upset 1381 00:56:47,155 --> 00:56:49,074 because when the real King pulled out his sword, 1382 00:56:49,407 --> 00:56:51,242 it was long and shiny, 1383 00:56:51,326 --> 00:56:53,411 and the Step King did shudder at the size of it. 1384 00:56:53,495 --> 00:56:57,165 And while the Step King acknowledged that the King carried a mighty, 1385 00:56:57,248 --> 00:56:58,833 beautifully engraved broadsword, 1386 00:56:59,167 --> 00:57:01,294 all the maidens in the land 1387 00:57:01,377 --> 00:57:03,797 preferred the more average-sized 1388 00:57:03,963 --> 00:57:05,673 Step King's sword because 1389 00:57:06,007 --> 00:57:07,300 it knew how to listen. 1390 00:57:07,383 --> 00:57:09,177 - (SCOFFS) - And the King needs to realize 1391 00:57:09,260 --> 00:57:10,845 he's a guest in his castle 1392 00:57:11,179 --> 00:57:13,139 and he better mind his P's and Q's 1393 00:57:13,223 --> 00:57:15,266 because the Step King has had it up to here 1394 00:57:15,350 --> 00:57:16,768 with the King's bullshit! 1395 00:57:17,018 --> 00:57:18,269 Brad said a naughty word. 1396 00:57:18,353 --> 00:57:22,107 Kids, I'm so sorry you had to hear that inappropriate language. 1397 00:57:22,190 --> 00:57:23,358 Make sure you tell your mother. 1398 00:57:23,441 --> 00:57:25,161 Brad, can I talk to you in the hall, please? 1399 00:57:25,527 --> 00:57:26,945 (SIGHS) 1400 00:57:27,529 --> 00:57:30,240 Brad, what just happened in there, man? 1401 00:57:30,532 --> 00:57:32,784 (WHISPERING) Look, the Step King should not have 1402 00:57:32,867 --> 00:57:34,202 used inappropriate language 1403 00:57:34,369 --> 00:57:36,621 in front of the Prince and Princess, he admits that. 1404 00:57:36,704 --> 00:57:37,705 Why are you still saying it like that, Brad? 1405 00:57:37,831 --> 00:57:38,873 We're out in the hall. 1406 00:57:38,957 --> 00:57:41,042 I don't know. I'm upset. 1407 00:57:41,292 --> 00:57:42,652 - (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) - Hold on. 1408 00:57:43,211 --> 00:57:44,337 Oh-ho-ho! Hello? 1409 00:57:44,796 --> 00:57:46,714 Yeah, Brad's here, he's doing good. 1410 00:57:46,965 --> 00:57:48,216 Hey, it's Dr. Francisco. 1411 00:57:48,299 --> 00:57:49,801 He wants us all to come in tomorrow. 9:30 work for you? 1412 00:57:49,884 --> 00:57:50,924 - Yeah, I guess so. - Yeah, 1413 00:57:50,969 --> 00:57:53,221 we'll see you then. All right, bud. Come on, man. 1414 00:57:53,888 --> 00:57:55,807 The doctor will be with you in a moment. 1415 00:57:55,890 --> 00:57:57,225 ALL: Thank you. 1416 00:58:01,062 --> 00:58:02,063 (SARA GRUNTING) 1417 00:58:02,147 --> 00:58:03,231 Hey, Brad, 1418 00:58:04,232 --> 00:58:05,567 whatever happens here, I just want you to know 1419 00:58:05,692 --> 00:58:07,569 that I'm proud of you for doing your best. 1420 00:58:07,652 --> 00:58:08,820 - Okay? - Thank you. 1421 00:58:08,903 --> 00:58:12,574 Hello, hello. Okay. I'm going to cut right to the chase. 1422 00:58:12,824 --> 00:58:15,410 Sara, I'm afraid I've got some bad news. 1423 00:58:15,702 --> 00:58:17,912 Oh, God. That is a tough break. I'm sorry. 1424 00:58:17,996 --> 00:58:20,248 Damn, that is a real shame. My heart is melting. 1425 00:58:20,331 --> 00:58:22,000 Yeah, it's a real shame, Sara. 1426 00:58:22,083 --> 00:58:23,501 A real shame that you're gonna have to put up 1427 00:58:23,585 --> 00:58:25,003 with Brad here pounding away on you 1428 00:58:25,253 --> 00:58:28,256 over and over, now that he's got a fighting chance 1429 00:58:28,339 --> 00:58:29,674 of getting you pregnant. 1430 00:58:30,091 --> 00:58:32,177 - (GASPING) - What? Oh, my God! 1431 00:58:32,260 --> 00:58:34,429 - Holy moly! - Oh, my God. 1432 00:58:35,096 --> 00:58:37,390 Hey, Doc, Doc, don't give them a false sense of hope. 1433 00:58:37,515 --> 00:58:40,560 Remember what you said about the blood flow and the screwy 'nads? 1434 00:58:40,643 --> 00:58:42,854 Yeah, well, Brad has you to thank for that, Dusty. 1435 00:58:42,937 --> 00:58:45,356 Okay, in lab rats, whenever another alpha male 1436 00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:47,192 comes around, it can spike testosterone, 1437 00:58:47,275 --> 00:58:48,568 driving up sperm counts. 1438 00:58:48,651 --> 00:58:51,321 Now, no guarantees, okay? But with my help, Brad, 1439 00:58:51,404 --> 00:58:54,115 I think you got enough left in the tank to make it all the way to baby town. 1440 00:58:54,199 --> 00:58:55,366 That's so wonderful. Thank you. 1441 00:58:55,450 --> 00:58:57,952 - BOTH: Thank you so much. - Of course. 1442 00:58:58,036 --> 00:58:59,954 - Can we give you a hug? - Oh, yeah. Come on in. 1443 00:59:00,955 --> 00:59:02,582 BRAD: Oh, my gosh. 1444 00:59:03,124 --> 00:59:05,001 - Did not expect this. - Mmm... 1445 00:59:06,044 --> 00:59:07,754 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1446 00:59:20,308 --> 00:59:22,477 You virile sea snake, you. 1447 00:59:22,602 --> 00:59:24,812 - I underestimated you, Brad. - Yes, you did. 1448 00:59:25,230 --> 00:59:28,733 I can finally give Sara everything, and it feels good. 1449 00:59:28,983 --> 00:59:30,151 Now, listen, this is what you need to do. 1450 00:59:30,235 --> 00:59:33,321 You need to go and pee outside the room that Dusty sleeps in. 1451 00:59:33,446 --> 00:59:35,907 He's gonna smell your urine and know that 1452 00:59:35,990 --> 00:59:38,451 your virility is not to be taken lightly. 1453 00:59:39,577 --> 00:59:41,788 It's good advice. I did it last year in the lobby. 1454 00:59:41,955 --> 00:59:44,082 Oh, I remember. It was a health hazard. 1455 00:59:44,165 --> 00:59:45,250 It scared the FedEx guy. 1456 00:59:45,333 --> 00:59:47,669 No, I'm going to take the high road on this one. 1457 00:59:47,794 --> 00:59:49,254 Okay, fine, take the high road. 1458 00:59:49,420 --> 00:59:52,048 But jam a baby up in there as quickly as you can, Brad. 1459 00:59:52,340 --> 00:59:54,926 Because, in the end, if Sara does choose Dusty over you, 1460 00:59:55,009 --> 00:59:57,637 he has to be stepdad to your baby. 1461 00:59:57,720 --> 00:59:58,930 - How beautiful is that? - (LAUGHS) 1462 00:59:59,013 --> 01:00:00,265 Come on, five it. 1463 01:00:00,348 --> 01:00:02,934 No. You know, it feels strange 1464 01:00:03,017 --> 01:00:06,479 to high-five over the custody of my unborn child. 1465 01:00:06,562 --> 01:00:07,647 I've been on Dusty's team. 1466 01:00:07,730 --> 01:00:10,275 I'm trying to jump over to the winning team Brad. 1467 01:00:10,358 --> 01:00:12,235 - Get on this. - I'd really rather not. 1468 01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:15,113 I'm trying to share a moment with you here. Please five me. 1469 01:00:15,238 --> 01:00:17,365 It feels... No, thanks. 1470 01:00:17,782 --> 01:00:19,075 - Got it! - Wait. No. 1471 01:00:19,158 --> 01:00:20,451 - Sweet. - It didn't count. 1472 01:00:20,535 --> 01:00:21,619 I love you, Brad. 1473 01:00:21,703 --> 01:00:22,954 It's not a binding high-five. 1474 01:00:23,037 --> 01:00:24,414 Fat beans in there. 1475 01:00:25,248 --> 01:00:26,874 - Dusty? - Brad. 1476 01:00:27,250 --> 01:00:28,751 What can I do for you? 1477 01:00:29,085 --> 01:00:31,587 Oh, wow, that's some impressive up-downs. 1478 01:00:31,921 --> 01:00:33,256 Look, uh, 1479 01:00:34,215 --> 01:00:37,885 what you did for Sara and me, 1480 01:00:38,094 --> 01:00:39,595 that's a life-changer, and 1481 01:00:40,263 --> 01:00:42,098 I just wanted to say thank you. 1482 01:00:42,432 --> 01:00:44,100 And I'm sorry. 1483 01:00:44,392 --> 01:00:45,727 Sorry for what? 1484 01:00:46,269 --> 01:00:48,271 Well, here's the thing. 1485 01:00:48,896 --> 01:00:51,566 I mean, you show up, 1486 01:00:52,608 --> 01:00:56,279 here's this guy who's cool and exciting. 1487 01:00:56,612 --> 01:01:01,659 I guess I felt a little competitive, and slightly insecure, and I start thinking, 1488 01:01:01,743 --> 01:01:04,287 well, maybe you want to challenge me. 1489 01:01:05,621 --> 01:01:07,999 But today you proved that all you really care about 1490 01:01:08,082 --> 01:01:09,500 is our family's happiness. 1491 01:01:09,584 --> 01:01:10,710 Oh, man. 1492 01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:12,295 I'm humbled. 1493 01:01:12,420 --> 01:01:14,130 I mean it. And you know what? 1494 01:01:14,589 --> 01:01:17,091 You're right. I was challenging you, Brad. 1495 01:01:17,300 --> 01:01:18,801 - Yeah? - The truth? 1496 01:01:19,635 --> 01:01:21,512 I see this new man in my kids' life. 1497 01:01:21,596 --> 01:01:24,474 He's kind and caring and successful, and I don't even want to like you. 1498 01:01:25,141 --> 01:01:27,560 But I can't help it. I like you, Brad. 1499 01:01:28,144 --> 01:01:29,145 Really? 1500 01:01:29,312 --> 01:01:31,647 I was determined to push you out and get my family back. 1501 01:01:31,773 --> 01:01:34,359 I was underhanded and disingenuous about it. 1502 01:01:34,442 --> 01:01:35,902 I feel like a monster. 1503 01:01:35,985 --> 01:01:37,904 No. No, no, no. 1504 01:01:38,488 --> 01:01:39,530 (SIGHS) 1505 01:01:39,614 --> 01:01:42,950 At the risk of being disrespectful, I want you to shut your mouth. 1506 01:01:43,451 --> 01:01:46,579 You are allowed to have those feelings. Okay? 1507 01:01:47,246 --> 01:01:49,886 Heck, we're talking about your own children here, for cripes' sake. 1508 01:01:51,167 --> 01:01:52,418 Clean slate? 1509 01:01:52,794 --> 01:01:54,128 Absolutely. 1510 01:01:54,879 --> 01:01:55,963 Come here. 1511 01:01:56,464 --> 01:01:57,799 (SIGHS) 1512 01:01:59,008 --> 01:02:01,135 You know what's funny? You're not even sweating, 1513 01:02:01,302 --> 01:02:03,221 after doing all those push-ups. 1514 01:02:03,429 --> 01:02:04,639 That's exemplary. 1515 01:02:05,181 --> 01:02:06,182 (SIGHS) 1516 01:02:08,851 --> 01:02:10,061 Thank you, Dusty. 1517 01:02:10,144 --> 01:02:11,145 Thank you, Brad. 1518 01:02:14,857 --> 01:02:15,858 Oh, uh... 1519 01:02:15,983 --> 01:02:20,446 You know, all that stuff about pushing me out and taking over my family, 1520 01:02:20,530 --> 01:02:22,073 I mean, we're through all that, right? 1521 01:02:22,490 --> 01:02:24,409 Oh, no, no, no. I'm here to defeat you 1522 01:02:24,492 --> 01:02:26,285 and take back my family. That can't change. 1523 01:02:26,369 --> 01:02:29,038 But now I'll follow your noble example and do it above board. 1524 01:02:29,372 --> 01:02:32,125 Honestly. Like a man. Like you. 1525 01:02:32,542 --> 01:02:35,628 But we just hugged. You said you like me. 1526 01:02:36,170 --> 01:02:37,570 Oh, I do like you, Brad, very much. 1527 01:02:37,630 --> 01:02:38,910 It doesn't make this any easier. 1528 01:02:39,215 --> 01:02:41,775 You know I'm gonna have to tell Sara what you said in here today. 1529 01:02:41,843 --> 01:02:44,053 Of course. It would be irresponsible not to. 1530 01:02:44,345 --> 01:02:45,972 She's not gonna like it. She's gonna want you out. 1531 01:02:46,055 --> 01:02:47,306 You're right about that, Brad. 1532 01:02:47,390 --> 01:02:48,766 What the hell are you up to? 1533 01:02:48,850 --> 01:02:50,351 I just told you what I'm up to. 1534 01:02:50,560 --> 01:02:52,562 My head is spinning right now. 1535 01:02:52,854 --> 01:02:55,231 Hey, you got any sweet potatoes? Or yams? 1536 01:02:55,356 --> 01:02:56,649 Sweet potatoes or yams? 1537 01:02:56,732 --> 01:02:59,152 Griff, you know we have yams, all right? 1538 01:02:59,235 --> 01:03:00,945 You made me buy them for you. 1539 01:03:01,028 --> 01:03:02,780 I wanted to respect your house by asking you 1540 01:03:02,864 --> 01:03:05,199 before I got them. I didn't want to just go grab yams. 1541 01:03:05,283 --> 01:03:07,160 Okay, I appreciate that. I'm dealing with something. 1542 01:03:07,243 --> 01:03:09,495 - Just go get the yams. - All right. 1543 01:03:09,579 --> 01:03:11,497 Here's the thing. You're right, Dusty. 1544 01:03:11,581 --> 01:03:13,749 Yeah. I'm not going to tell Sara. 1545 01:03:14,041 --> 01:03:15,918 But I'm gonna prove to you that I'm the best. 1546 01:03:16,210 --> 01:03:19,213 You can eat my dust, Dusty. 1547 01:03:35,104 --> 01:03:38,441 Christmas already? Why didn't anybody tell me? 1548 01:03:38,524 --> 01:03:40,318 It's not. It's the middle of April. 1549 01:03:42,236 --> 01:03:44,864 - Daddy must have done this! - BRAD: Ho, ho, ho, ho! 1550 01:03:45,406 --> 01:03:47,408 No, he didn't. (LAUGHS) 1551 01:03:47,950 --> 01:03:49,619 - Brad. - Ho, ho! 1552 01:03:50,203 --> 01:03:52,538 Claus is the name. Santa Claus, if you please. 1553 01:03:52,622 --> 01:03:54,373 But this Brad you speak of 1554 01:03:54,457 --> 01:03:56,334 called me all the way up at the North Pole. 1555 01:03:56,417 --> 01:03:59,086 He said his children were so sad because 1556 01:03:59,295 --> 01:04:01,797 their biological father had missed so many 1557 01:04:01,923 --> 01:04:04,175 Christmases and birthdays 1558 01:04:04,258 --> 01:04:07,011 and special family holidays, so he asked me 1559 01:04:07,094 --> 01:04:09,722 to come here today so that Dusty 1560 01:04:09,805 --> 01:04:11,933 could experience one Christmas 1561 01:04:12,016 --> 01:04:13,893 with his kids before he leaves again. 1562 01:04:14,393 --> 01:04:15,895 Probably for a long, long time. 1563 01:04:15,978 --> 01:04:16,979 Ho, ho, ho! 1564 01:04:17,104 --> 01:04:18,481 Can we open presents? 1565 01:04:18,814 --> 01:04:20,650 You sure can, little girl. 1566 01:04:20,775 --> 01:04:22,109 I think they're from Brad. 1567 01:04:22,360 --> 01:04:24,278 In fact, all the presents are from Brad. 1568 01:04:24,654 --> 01:04:27,156 Let's see if any of the presents are from Dusty. 1569 01:04:27,990 --> 01:04:32,453 Nope. Not one present from Dusty. All from Brad. 1570 01:04:32,537 --> 01:04:35,456 Hey, kids, let's not forget who got you a dog. Remember? 1571 01:04:35,540 --> 01:04:37,375 Hey, Tumor, quit humping Mrs. Claus! 1572 01:04:37,458 --> 01:04:38,459 (GROWLING) 1573 01:04:38,960 --> 01:04:41,045 Okay, I am officially worried about you. 1574 01:04:41,128 --> 01:04:43,381 Don't worry, Claus hasn't forgotten you. 1575 01:04:44,924 --> 01:04:45,925 Huh? 1576 01:04:46,008 --> 01:04:47,635 - For me? - Yeah. 1577 01:04:48,177 --> 01:04:49,887 (GASPS) 1578 01:04:49,971 --> 01:04:53,432 Oh, my God, honey, it's beautiful. I love it. 1579 01:04:53,683 --> 01:04:56,978 Wait, no! No! No, no. It's too much. 1580 01:04:57,436 --> 01:04:58,437 (TUMOR BARKS) 1581 01:04:58,521 --> 01:05:03,025 Oh, no, it looks like Tumor's given away Megan's big gift. 1582 01:05:08,823 --> 01:05:10,116 (SCREAMING JOYFULLY) 1583 01:05:10,199 --> 01:05:11,867 A pony! A pony! A pony! 1584 01:05:11,993 --> 01:05:13,578 I know, it's a pony! 1585 01:05:13,869 --> 01:05:15,746 - Ho, ho, ho! - (CONTINUES SCREAMING) 1586 01:05:15,830 --> 01:05:18,791 It's a pony, Dusty! A pony! 1587 01:05:18,874 --> 01:05:20,251 Can we name her Princess Elsa? 1588 01:05:20,418 --> 01:05:23,963 You can name him whatever you want, because it's yours! 1589 01:05:24,589 --> 01:05:25,840 Brad, how can we afford a pony? 1590 01:05:25,923 --> 01:05:27,216 Where are we even going to put that thing? 1591 01:05:27,341 --> 01:05:29,594 I can clear out some stable space in the garage. 1592 01:05:29,677 --> 01:05:31,220 Look, it's only half a horse. 1593 01:05:31,846 --> 01:05:34,849 Okay? Think of it like a big dog, only a lot better. 1594 01:05:35,224 --> 01:05:37,351 Oh, what's this? What the heck? 1595 01:05:37,560 --> 01:05:40,855 It's tickets to tonight's NBA playoff game... 1596 01:05:40,938 --> 01:05:42,732 - What? - ...against Dylan's favorite team, 1597 01:05:42,815 --> 01:05:44,150 the Los Angeles Lakers? 1598 01:05:44,233 --> 01:05:46,360 Oh, thanks, Brad! You're the coolest! 1599 01:05:46,569 --> 01:05:48,029 I love you, Brad! 1600 01:05:48,362 --> 01:05:49,697 Not bad. 1601 01:05:50,364 --> 01:05:51,616 Not bad at all. 1602 01:05:51,699 --> 01:05:53,909 Merry Christmas, Whitaker family! 1603 01:05:54,243 --> 01:05:55,369 GRIFF: Christmas? 1604 01:05:56,245 --> 01:05:57,872 How long was I asleep for? 1605 01:05:58,873 --> 01:06:00,541 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1606 01:06:06,589 --> 01:06:08,090 - You guys got enough candy? - Yeah! 1607 01:06:08,174 --> 01:06:10,343 Remember, you can have anything you want, 'cause it's Christmas! 1608 01:06:10,426 --> 01:06:12,428 No, it isn't. It's not Christmas, kids. 1609 01:06:12,637 --> 01:06:15,473 - BRAD: All right. Here we are. - Oh, sick! We're this close? 1610 01:06:15,556 --> 01:06:18,392 Yeah. Pretty good, right? Megan, you sit down right there. 1611 01:06:18,476 --> 01:06:20,394 Perfect. Dylan, you sit next to me. 1612 01:06:20,603 --> 01:06:23,147 And, Dusty, I'm so sorry. Yeah. 1613 01:06:23,272 --> 01:06:25,316 I could only get four in a row. I couldn't get five. 1614 01:06:25,399 --> 01:06:27,399 So you're across the aisle, next to that gentleman. 1615 01:06:29,028 --> 01:06:30,363 All right, guys, I'll be right here. 1616 01:06:30,488 --> 01:06:32,031 - We can still chat. - Bye, Daddy. 1617 01:06:33,616 --> 01:06:37,036 Look, there's Kobe! It's him! He's right there. 1618 01:06:37,119 --> 01:06:40,289 Thank you, Brad, this is the best present I've ever gotten. 1619 01:06:40,414 --> 01:06:42,333 - You are so welcome. - In my whole life. 1620 01:06:42,416 --> 01:06:44,752 I'm glad to hear it's the best present you've ever got! 1621 01:06:46,128 --> 01:06:47,505 How much did these seats cost? 1622 01:06:47,755 --> 01:06:48,881 Not too much. 1623 01:06:48,964 --> 01:06:50,549 ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a big welcome 1624 01:06:50,633 --> 01:06:52,718 to all the kids from Hearts of Courage. 1625 01:06:52,802 --> 01:06:55,596 Whoo! Hearts of Courage kids! 1626 01:06:55,680 --> 01:06:57,765 Proud of you, you're all miracles! 1627 01:06:58,599 --> 01:06:59,892 Whoo! I love kids! 1628 01:06:59,975 --> 01:07:01,394 All right, honey. That's plenty. 1629 01:07:01,477 --> 01:07:03,479 I just get excited when I'm with my family! 1630 01:07:03,979 --> 01:07:06,148 Dusty! Dusty Mayron! 1631 01:07:06,649 --> 01:07:08,484 - Marco? Hey! - (MARCO LAUGHS) 1632 01:07:08,609 --> 01:07:10,236 What's up, man? Are you coaching now? 1633 01:07:10,319 --> 01:07:11,612 Yeah, I'm the new strength and conditioning coach. 1634 01:07:11,696 --> 01:07:12,738 - Oh, man. - Check you out. 1635 01:07:12,822 --> 01:07:14,156 Hey, I played ball with him in Italy. 1636 01:07:14,323 --> 01:07:16,158 This is my family. My little guy, Dylan. 1637 01:07:16,283 --> 01:07:17,910 He's the biggest Kobe fan in the world. 1638 01:07:17,993 --> 01:07:19,954 Really? Well, come on down. I'll introduce you. 1639 01:07:20,079 --> 01:07:21,539 - What? - What? You hear that? 1640 01:07:21,622 --> 01:07:22,665 You want to meet Kobe? 1641 01:07:22,748 --> 01:07:23,791 MARCO: Bring the whole family down. 1642 01:07:23,874 --> 01:07:25,292 You guys can sit with the team. 1643 01:07:25,376 --> 01:07:26,419 Hey, this is my little girl, Megan. 1644 01:07:26,502 --> 01:07:28,129 She just invited me to her first Daddy-Daughter Dance. 1645 01:07:28,504 --> 01:07:29,964 - So sweet. - What did he just say? 1646 01:07:31,340 --> 01:07:33,092 What the hell did he just say? 1647 01:07:33,467 --> 01:07:34,802 Oh, sorry. He's okay. 1648 01:07:34,969 --> 01:07:36,679 No, I'm not okay. He's not okay. 1649 01:07:36,762 --> 01:07:38,806 - Honey, you need to calm down. - No! I'm not gonna calm down. 1650 01:07:38,889 --> 01:07:40,099 She asked me first! 1651 01:07:40,182 --> 01:07:42,393 And now she's asking him? No. It's not fair. 1652 01:07:42,476 --> 01:07:44,895 You know what, actually, it's very fair. Okay? She has two dads. 1653 01:07:44,979 --> 01:07:47,022 She wants you both there. You just have to accept that. 1654 01:07:47,148 --> 01:07:49,400 No, I'm not going to accept it. All right? 1655 01:07:49,483 --> 01:07:51,819 I do pick-up! I do drop-off! 1656 01:07:52,027 --> 01:07:53,612 Okay, I volunteer at school! 1657 01:07:53,696 --> 01:07:55,740 I listen to the tantrums and the crying 1658 01:07:55,823 --> 01:07:59,368 and the soundtrack of Frozen that's on a goddamn loop all the time! 1659 01:07:59,869 --> 01:08:04,707 And he just waltzes in for a few days, and now he gets to go as well? No! 1660 01:08:04,915 --> 01:08:07,585 No, she's got to choose. It's either me or him! 1661 01:08:07,668 --> 01:08:09,428 - Megan, you got to choose! - (SARA SHUSHING) 1662 01:08:09,503 --> 01:08:10,588 - You got to choose! - SARA: Hey! 1663 01:08:10,671 --> 01:08:12,089 It's the biggest decision of your life! 1664 01:08:12,173 --> 01:08:13,174 Hey! 1665 01:08:14,008 --> 01:08:16,594 You know what? I'm going to pretend you're not acting like a crazy person, 1666 01:08:16,677 --> 01:08:18,387 because I know you're very upset. 1667 01:08:19,054 --> 01:08:21,265 But you need to get over yourself. Okay? 1668 01:08:21,348 --> 01:08:23,476 Now go down there and be happy with your kids. 1669 01:08:23,559 --> 01:08:27,188 No! A scalper gouged me 18 grand for these seats. I'm not leaving them! 1670 01:08:27,938 --> 01:08:29,023 What? 1671 01:08:29,315 --> 01:08:31,275 - (STAMMERING) - What did you just say? 1672 01:08:31,358 --> 01:08:34,445 Yeah. Nothing. Let's just... You're right. 1673 01:08:35,070 --> 01:08:37,448 (SIGHS) I'm so much more relaxed now. Thank you. 1674 01:08:37,907 --> 01:08:39,325 Yeah. Let's just go down... Let's just... 1675 01:08:39,408 --> 01:08:40,409 No! 1676 01:08:40,534 --> 01:08:43,412 I think you should sit in your $18,000 seats, 1677 01:08:43,537 --> 01:08:46,874 and think of all the better ways your family could have used that money. 1678 01:08:48,584 --> 01:08:49,752 Sara. 1679 01:08:51,253 --> 01:08:52,671 The guy from the nuclear sub thing? 1680 01:08:52,755 --> 01:08:54,673 - Mayron! That's him. - That's the guy? 1681 01:08:54,757 --> 01:08:57,885 Can I get some beers down here? Can I get five beers? 1682 01:08:58,928 --> 01:09:00,387 Excuse me, some beers! 1683 01:09:00,805 --> 01:09:02,389 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 1684 01:09:05,810 --> 01:09:07,144 (ALL CHEERING) 1685 01:09:37,299 --> 01:09:38,968 THE WHIP: What's up, everybody? 1686 01:09:39,301 --> 01:09:42,221 Let's make some noise! 1687 01:09:42,304 --> 01:09:43,889 Whoo-hoo! 1688 01:09:43,973 --> 01:09:47,309 Tonight, one lucky fan is going to 1689 01:09:47,393 --> 01:09:49,937 get a chance to shoot from half court 1690 01:09:50,104 --> 01:09:53,732 to win a family vacation to Disney World! 1691 01:09:54,108 --> 01:09:55,651 (ALL CHEERING) 1692 01:09:57,152 --> 01:10:00,656 And our lucky fan is sitting in 1693 01:10:00,739 --> 01:10:02,950 section 113, 1694 01:10:03,325 --> 01:10:04,869 row 6, 1695 01:10:05,202 --> 01:10:08,706 C-1. Where is he? Let's see it. Where is he? 1696 01:10:08,789 --> 01:10:10,416 It's me. It's me, I win! 1697 01:10:10,499 --> 01:10:11,834 - There he is. - I win. 1698 01:10:13,002 --> 01:10:15,629 I'm-a make it to Disneyland. I'm-a make it all right. 1699 01:10:15,713 --> 01:10:17,089 - All right, Brad! - Yay, Brad! 1700 01:10:17,172 --> 01:10:18,299 Yay, Brad! 1701 01:10:18,841 --> 01:10:20,721 All right, sir, how you doing? What's your name? 1702 01:10:20,843 --> 01:10:23,178 First off, I love my kids. 1703 01:10:23,554 --> 01:10:25,180 He loves his kids! Let's give it up! 1704 01:10:27,683 --> 01:10:31,020 And if anyone was ever to do anything to them, 1705 01:10:31,228 --> 01:10:33,397 - I would hurt them. - Okay. 1706 01:10:33,856 --> 01:10:35,858 I would freakin' hurt them! 1707 01:10:36,358 --> 01:10:37,693 THE WHIP: Okay. 1708 01:10:38,027 --> 01:10:40,321 This guy over here is trying to take them! 1709 01:10:40,529 --> 01:10:42,197 Trying to steal my family. 1710 01:10:42,531 --> 01:10:44,199 He doesn't sweat! 1711 01:10:45,034 --> 01:10:46,452 Okay, you know what? Why don't we just shoot... 1712 01:10:46,535 --> 01:10:48,370 But I got news for you, buddy! 1713 01:10:48,704 --> 01:10:51,290 Last night, while you were sleeping, 1714 01:10:51,373 --> 01:10:53,000 I made love to our wife! 1715 01:10:53,334 --> 01:10:54,668 - Okay. - My wife! 1716 01:10:55,377 --> 01:10:57,546 BRAD: Sara, right over there! 1717 01:10:58,130 --> 01:11:00,007 Took my wiener out of my pants! 1718 01:11:00,090 --> 01:11:01,967 This is a family event, okay? 1719 01:11:02,051 --> 01:11:03,719 - Boo! Boo! - All right. 1720 01:11:03,886 --> 01:11:05,054 So, 1721 01:11:05,554 --> 01:11:08,724 even if Sara does pick you, you're going to have to be 1722 01:11:09,016 --> 01:11:11,018 the stepdad to my kid! 1723 01:11:11,143 --> 01:11:13,771 You see how you like it! Okay? 1724 01:11:13,938 --> 01:11:16,440 THE WHIP: Let's get somebody else down here, all right? Somebody else... 1725 01:11:16,523 --> 01:11:18,317 Somebody else is going to win a family trip! 1726 01:11:18,400 --> 01:11:19,735 Give me that ball, you. 1727 01:11:20,027 --> 01:11:23,197 This one's for Dylan and Megan and Sara and Dylan. 1728 01:11:23,739 --> 01:11:25,240 Nothing but net. 1729 01:11:25,574 --> 01:11:27,774 THE WHIP: All right, he's going for it! Nothing but net! 1730 01:11:31,205 --> 01:11:32,206 (GRUNTS) 1731 01:11:32,289 --> 01:11:33,832 - (GROANING) - (ALL GASPING) 1732 01:11:36,085 --> 01:11:37,086 Do-over! 1733 01:11:37,252 --> 01:11:38,879 - That's a do-over! - No do-over. No. 1734 01:11:38,963 --> 01:11:40,297 It's a do-over! 1735 01:11:42,299 --> 01:11:43,884 - (GROANS) - (ALL GASPING) 1736 01:11:49,431 --> 01:11:50,557 (BRAD THUDDING) 1737 01:11:50,641 --> 01:11:52,351 (ALL APPLAUDING) 1738 01:12:04,780 --> 01:12:08,033 THE WHIP: I'm so sorry you had to see that. I'm so sorry. 1739 01:12:31,056 --> 01:12:32,599 (CAR ENGINE STARTING) 1740 01:12:43,944 --> 01:12:46,504 SARA: Hey, kids, why don't you go inside and put on your pajamas? 1741 01:12:49,825 --> 01:12:52,453 - What are you doing? - I'm comforting you. 1742 01:12:53,787 --> 01:12:57,082 Sara, look... Sorry, too soon. I know. 1743 01:12:57,166 --> 01:12:59,168 But I just want you to know that I'm here for you and the kids. 1744 01:12:59,668 --> 01:13:02,337 Oh, really? You want to be a real parent now? Is that what this is? 1745 01:13:02,463 --> 01:13:03,589 Absolutely. I'm here now. 1746 01:13:03,672 --> 01:13:05,716 Dusty, I'm working crazy hours this week. 1747 01:13:05,799 --> 01:13:08,218 With Brad gone, the kids are gonna have to be dropped off, 1748 01:13:08,302 --> 01:13:10,220 picked up, taken to swimming lessons. 1749 01:13:10,429 --> 01:13:12,890 Dylan has a play date with Eli on Tuesday, 1750 01:13:12,973 --> 01:13:15,350 and Megan has a dentist appointment on Friday. 1751 01:13:15,476 --> 01:13:17,811 Sara, I know in the past I've been unreliable, 1752 01:13:18,062 --> 01:13:20,439 but this is a new me. All right? This is the new Dusty. 1753 01:13:21,523 --> 01:13:23,984 Well, you can't take them to school on a motorcycle. 1754 01:13:24,068 --> 01:13:25,486 - You need a car. - Done. 1755 01:13:26,695 --> 01:13:27,863 Okay. 1756 01:13:30,699 --> 01:13:32,367 Hey! You're not staying here! 1757 01:13:32,451 --> 01:13:33,827 Are you sure you don't need company right now? 1758 01:13:33,911 --> 01:13:35,287 I mean, you're going through a tough transition here. 1759 01:13:35,370 --> 01:13:36,830 Be here at 6:30 tomorrow morning. 1760 01:13:36,955 --> 01:13:38,332 Well, can I at least come in and get my stuff? 1761 01:13:38,415 --> 01:13:39,458 No! 1762 01:13:39,541 --> 01:13:42,169 DUSTY: I'm gonna wait for a while, in case you change your mind. 1763 01:13:42,920 --> 01:13:44,129 (SIGHS) 1764 01:13:46,882 --> 01:13:48,008 Hey. 1765 01:13:48,717 --> 01:13:49,760 Oh... 1766 01:13:49,843 --> 01:13:51,428 What did you throw Griff out for? 1767 01:13:53,222 --> 01:13:54,848 - This place is chaotic. - (SCOFFS) 1768 01:13:55,182 --> 01:13:56,975 There's always some bullshit going on in that house. 1769 01:13:57,059 --> 01:13:59,061 God, man. Want to go to the Red Roof Inn? 1770 01:13:59,186 --> 01:14:00,229 Let's do it. 1771 01:14:00,562 --> 01:14:01,688 Is that Cinnamon Toast Crunch? 1772 01:14:01,772 --> 01:14:03,065 (MUFFLED) Yes, sir. 1773 01:14:27,631 --> 01:14:29,133 DORIS: Okay. No running! 1774 01:14:29,216 --> 01:14:31,552 All right. Lindsey! Sloane! Car's open right down there! 1775 01:14:31,677 --> 01:14:35,472 Okay, sir, inside the cones! Just like ice cream! 1776 01:14:35,556 --> 01:14:36,765 Keep it inside... 1777 01:14:36,849 --> 01:14:38,308 That's right! Thank you. 1778 01:14:38,392 --> 01:14:40,060 (CAR ENGINE REVVING) 1779 01:14:44,106 --> 01:14:47,317 Hi. I see you've been picking up Megan and Dylan these past few days. 1780 01:14:47,401 --> 01:14:48,861 Should I expect you from now on? 1781 01:14:48,944 --> 01:14:51,321 Um, yeah, I'm their real dad, so yeah, from now on. 1782 01:14:51,488 --> 01:14:53,198 Terrific. I see that you also 1783 01:14:53,282 --> 01:14:55,367 haven't signed up to volunteer in the lane. 1784 01:14:55,450 --> 01:14:58,078 Brad was so good about helping us out in the lane, 1785 01:14:58,245 --> 01:14:59,913 in the classroom, PTA, and so forth. 1786 01:14:59,997 --> 01:15:02,332 We could always count on him for bake sales, Spring Sing, 1787 01:15:02,416 --> 01:15:04,418 costumes for Winter Pageant. You know the drill. 1788 01:15:04,501 --> 01:15:06,420 I hope I can count on you to be the new Brad. 1789 01:15:06,837 --> 01:15:08,589 Ah, sure, yeah. You can count on me. 1790 01:15:08,714 --> 01:15:11,341 I mean, I'm their real dad, so, yeah, I'll be here every day. 1791 01:15:11,425 --> 01:15:14,219 Great. So, if your kids aren't out here, I'm gonna need you to circle around 1792 01:15:14,303 --> 01:15:15,345 to the back of the line. Okay? 1793 01:15:15,429 --> 01:15:17,347 - No, I can't go around. - Thanks. 1794 01:15:17,431 --> 01:15:18,807 I came ten minutes early so I don't have to... 1795 01:15:18,891 --> 01:15:20,934 If your kids aren't here, you have to go around! 1796 01:15:21,059 --> 01:15:22,859 I know. There's somebody in front of me. Okay? 1797 01:15:22,936 --> 01:15:23,937 Just go around! 1798 01:15:24,021 --> 01:15:26,190 I can't just go over the cones! I'm boxed in here! 1799 01:15:26,273 --> 01:15:27,941 - Go around! - No, you can't! Okay? 1800 01:15:28,108 --> 01:15:29,526 She said stay in the cone, like ice cream! 1801 01:15:29,610 --> 01:15:31,153 - (HONKING) - Go around! 1802 01:15:31,278 --> 01:15:32,446 DORIS: Inside the cones! 1803 01:15:32,738 --> 01:15:34,114 Amanda has got a recital! 1804 01:15:34,239 --> 01:15:36,783 I have to get there! You need to go! 1805 01:15:36,950 --> 01:15:38,535 (HORN HONKING CONTINUES) 1806 01:15:38,785 --> 01:15:39,953 (REVVING ENGINE) 1807 01:15:42,539 --> 01:15:44,374 - (TYRES SQUEALING) - DORIS: Hey! 1808 01:15:44,458 --> 01:15:46,877 We always stay inside the cones! 1809 01:15:47,294 --> 01:15:49,421 Cones! (GRUNTING) 1810 01:15:50,172 --> 01:15:52,049 Cones! Come on! 1811 01:15:55,719 --> 01:15:56,720 (MR. HOLT SIGHING) 1812 01:15:56,803 --> 01:15:59,765 Have you been living here for the last few days, Brad? 1813 01:15:59,973 --> 01:16:00,974 No. 1814 01:16:01,808 --> 01:16:06,146 Then what's with the blankets and the hot plate 1815 01:16:06,813 --> 01:16:07,940 and the B.O.? 1816 01:16:08,482 --> 01:16:11,193 I crapped in the wastebasket. 1817 01:16:11,985 --> 01:16:15,656 You know, Brad, two years into my thing with Charlene, 1818 01:16:15,989 --> 01:16:18,825 her first husband showed up. Oriental fellow. 1819 01:16:19,117 --> 01:16:21,995 You can't say that. You cannot say "Oriental." 1820 01:16:22,120 --> 01:16:26,124 His name was Yu or Wu. It could have been Javier. 1821 01:16:26,500 --> 01:16:29,836 Anyway, I get off early one day, get home, and 1822 01:16:30,128 --> 01:16:32,214 there he is, stark naked in our bed. 1823 01:16:32,506 --> 01:16:33,715 I didn't know what to think. 1824 01:16:33,799 --> 01:16:36,468 Really? You didn't know what to think? 1825 01:16:36,677 --> 01:16:40,013 Six months later, I wake up in a Chinese prison 1826 01:16:40,347 --> 01:16:42,557 with a tattoo on my lower back 1827 01:16:42,683 --> 01:16:44,851 of a golf ball rolling towards my butthole. 1828 01:16:45,143 --> 01:16:47,104 I can't hear these stories anymore. 1829 01:16:47,187 --> 01:16:49,147 I'm sorry. I know they're supposed to help... 1830 01:16:49,356 --> 01:16:51,358 Griff! What are you doing here? 1831 01:16:51,692 --> 01:16:53,819 Thought you should know Dusty came by the bar earlier. 1832 01:16:54,278 --> 01:16:56,113 He was talking about how he can't do the daddy thing. 1833 01:16:56,196 --> 01:16:57,636 I tried to talk some sense into him, 1834 01:16:57,698 --> 01:16:59,449 but he seemed determined to get out of town. 1835 01:16:59,533 --> 01:17:00,534 What, he's leaving? 1836 01:17:00,659 --> 01:17:03,453 I don't think I have to tell you, but little Megan's dance is tonight, 1837 01:17:03,912 --> 01:17:05,163 and she's not going to have a daddy. 1838 01:17:05,247 --> 01:17:08,041 That's fantastic. Brad, you win. 1839 01:17:08,208 --> 01:17:11,628 And Dusty, because of an act of cowardice, loses. 1840 01:17:12,045 --> 01:17:13,880 I mean, you're the daddy again. 1841 01:17:14,214 --> 01:17:15,882 Come on, hit that. 1842 01:17:18,593 --> 01:17:19,886 (SIGHS) 1843 01:17:20,554 --> 01:17:22,014 No, I'm not her daddy. 1844 01:17:23,724 --> 01:17:26,226 I wish more than anything I was, 1845 01:17:27,519 --> 01:17:28,562 but I'm not. 1846 01:17:28,854 --> 01:17:33,233 Yeah, you're right, Brad. A real dad wouldn't give up on his kids so easy. 1847 01:17:36,153 --> 01:17:37,154 (DOOR CLOSING) 1848 01:17:42,576 --> 01:17:43,577 Griff! 1849 01:17:43,744 --> 01:17:45,620 Wait! 1850 01:17:45,912 --> 01:17:47,414 He's still in the room, Brad. 1851 01:17:47,748 --> 01:17:49,249 Oh, hey. 1852 01:17:49,708 --> 01:17:51,918 Sorry. I thought you stormed out. 1853 01:17:52,252 --> 01:17:55,881 What you said sounded like a storm-out, and then I heard the door close. 1854 01:17:56,089 --> 01:17:57,841 I just thought that shit was getting kind of personal, 1855 01:17:57,924 --> 01:17:59,593 so it'd be good to close the door. 1856 01:17:59,885 --> 01:18:03,221 So extremely thoughtful. Thank you. Yeah. 1857 01:18:03,430 --> 01:18:06,933 And just so you know where my head was at, 1858 01:18:07,017 --> 01:18:09,353 I was going to chase you down the hallway. Right? 1859 01:18:09,936 --> 01:18:12,856 You'd hear my footsteps and you're like, "Is someone after... What's going on?" 1860 01:18:12,939 --> 01:18:17,110 Boom! It's me, and I'm like, "Griff, hey! 1861 01:18:17,444 --> 01:18:18,737 "You were right." 1862 01:18:18,820 --> 01:18:22,282 Holy shit! That would be so uplifting. 1863 01:18:23,450 --> 01:18:24,451 Can we do that? 1864 01:18:25,452 --> 01:18:27,662 Griff, can you storm out, and Brad, you go after him? 1865 01:18:27,746 --> 01:18:29,664 I don't really want any part of that. 1866 01:18:29,790 --> 01:18:32,209 That sounds like pure nonsense to me. 1867 01:18:32,292 --> 01:18:34,544 I don't want... I'd rather not. 1868 01:18:35,045 --> 01:18:37,297 We could just try it, you know? 1869 01:18:37,464 --> 01:18:41,134 No, that sounds forced and weird to try to 1870 01:18:41,468 --> 01:18:44,054 recreate something. Not even recreate. 1871 01:18:44,137 --> 01:18:46,139 It would be creating. It didn't happen. 1872 01:18:46,473 --> 01:18:48,141 It's over-discussed at this point. 1873 01:18:48,433 --> 01:18:49,393 Shouldn't you go see your kid? 1874 01:18:49,476 --> 01:18:50,977 - Yeah. Yeah. - All right. 1875 01:18:51,269 --> 01:18:52,813 You guys go. Brad, can I come? 1876 01:18:52,938 --> 01:18:53,939 No. 1877 01:18:54,147 --> 01:18:56,233 (MUSIC PLAYING) 1878 01:19:07,327 --> 01:19:09,162 Daddy's not coming, is he? 1879 01:19:09,329 --> 01:19:12,999 Oh, honey, he'll be here. He promised. 1880 01:19:14,584 --> 01:19:16,628 I see cupcakes over there. 1881 01:19:17,421 --> 01:19:19,965 I think you should go eat some. Go on. 1882 01:19:21,007 --> 01:19:22,509 Go eat a lot of sugar. 1883 01:19:27,013 --> 01:19:28,515 (VIBRATING) 1884 01:19:37,941 --> 01:19:38,942 Dusty. 1885 01:19:40,026 --> 01:19:42,362 - Nope. - Come on, Dusty. 1886 01:19:42,696 --> 01:19:43,780 Where are you going? 1887 01:19:43,864 --> 01:19:46,158 I'd pay a billion dollars to take her to that dance. 1888 01:19:46,241 --> 01:19:48,081 - You're just gonna leave? - You take her then. 1889 01:19:48,160 --> 01:19:50,454 I can't take her. Okay? I'm not welcome after I said 1890 01:19:50,537 --> 01:19:52,122 I was gonna put a spite baby in her mother. 1891 01:19:52,205 --> 01:19:54,124 - I guess that's out, then. - Yeah, that is out. 1892 01:19:54,207 --> 01:19:56,042 - So it's gotta be you. - (SIGHS) 1893 01:19:56,376 --> 01:19:59,254 I'm sorry, Brad, I just can't do it, all right? 1894 01:19:59,337 --> 01:20:00,755 What do you mean, you can't do it? 1895 01:20:00,839 --> 01:20:02,674 I can't stay inside the cones. 1896 01:20:02,757 --> 01:20:04,843 Look, Dusty, the cones are there for everyone's safety. 1897 01:20:04,926 --> 01:20:07,596 - It's not about the cones. - You just said it was. 1898 01:20:07,679 --> 01:20:09,139 The cones are a metaphor, Brad. 1899 01:20:09,222 --> 01:20:11,308 I'm not the domestic type, okay? 1900 01:20:11,808 --> 01:20:13,226 Dusty, come on. What are you talking about? 1901 01:20:13,310 --> 01:20:15,562 You're organized, you're handy. 1902 01:20:15,645 --> 01:20:17,981 You make the best cinnamon rolls I have ever tasted. 1903 01:20:18,064 --> 01:20:19,316 Those were Cinnabons, Brad. Come on. 1904 01:20:19,399 --> 01:20:21,276 You can't make rolls like that in a conventional oven. 1905 01:20:21,359 --> 01:20:24,738 I knew it! I knew it. I knew it from the beginning! 1906 01:20:25,322 --> 01:20:26,656 So you've been telling some tall tales, huh? 1907 01:20:26,740 --> 01:20:29,034 - All that Special Ops stuff. - No, just the Cinnabons! 1908 01:20:29,117 --> 01:20:30,744 Why would you lie about Cinnabons? 1909 01:20:30,827 --> 01:20:32,662 'Cause I wanted to win. All right? 1910 01:20:32,746 --> 01:20:35,027 I wanted to prove that I was a good dad, too, but I'm not. 1911 01:20:35,081 --> 01:20:37,417 Okay? Are you happy? Is that what you want to hear? 1912 01:20:37,501 --> 01:20:39,753 All the noise and the mess and all the choices. 1913 01:20:39,836 --> 01:20:41,338 You do one thing wrong, you can screw them up for life. 1914 01:20:41,421 --> 01:20:44,174 - Do you realize that? - Yeah. 1915 01:20:44,591 --> 01:20:45,967 Dads have to make a lot of choices, okay? 1916 01:20:46,051 --> 01:20:47,260 And we blow most of them. 1917 01:20:47,344 --> 01:20:48,512 Yeah, and the other parents. 1918 01:20:48,595 --> 01:20:51,515 That kid, Eli. I was over there for a play date. You know about this? 1919 01:20:51,598 --> 01:20:53,350 You can't just ride your bike over to a friend's house, 1920 01:20:53,433 --> 01:20:54,434 to play Hot Wheels anymore, 1921 01:20:54,518 --> 01:20:55,852 now you got to make some kind of date? 1922 01:20:55,936 --> 01:20:57,312 - I know, it's a shame. - Well, I'm over there, 1923 01:20:57,437 --> 01:20:59,517 and the kid's dad keeps asking me if Dylan's gonna be 1924 01:20:59,564 --> 01:21:00,732 in the gifted program with Eli. 1925 01:21:00,815 --> 01:21:02,776 Like Dylan isn't as smart as his little ball-scratcher kid. 1926 01:21:02,859 --> 01:21:04,611 I wanted to murder that smug prick. 1927 01:21:04,694 --> 01:21:07,864 Dusty, look, I hate that guy, too, okay? 1928 01:21:07,948 --> 01:21:10,617 But his son is Dylan's best friend, so you suck it up. 1929 01:21:11,868 --> 01:21:17,082 (STUTTERING) I mean, that's most of what dads do, is take shit. 1930 01:21:17,165 --> 01:21:19,084 I mean, that's what we do. 1931 01:21:19,209 --> 01:21:22,045 I can't do it, Brad. I can't take shit like you do. 1932 01:21:22,128 --> 01:21:24,339 You take shit better than anyone I've ever met, 1933 01:21:24,422 --> 01:21:26,550 and I mean that as a compliment from the bottom of my heart. 1934 01:21:26,675 --> 01:21:28,395 - Thank you. - But I'm sorry, Brad. I can't. 1935 01:21:28,468 --> 01:21:30,136 I can't do it, man. 1936 01:21:30,220 --> 01:21:32,340 You made a promise to Megan, and you're gonna keep it. 1937 01:21:37,102 --> 01:21:38,395 Ow! 1938 01:21:39,938 --> 01:21:41,147 (GROANING) 1939 01:21:41,231 --> 01:21:43,066 Did you just punch me in the face, Brad? 1940 01:21:43,191 --> 01:21:44,192 Ow, yes. 1941 01:21:44,568 --> 01:21:46,987 Knowing full well I got no choice but to bust you up now? 1942 01:21:47,237 --> 01:21:48,822 I really wish you wouldn't. 1943 01:21:49,322 --> 01:21:51,842 If I did, you'd take that beatdown for those kids, wouldn't you? 1944 01:21:53,660 --> 01:21:56,162 Yeah. Yeah, I would. 1945 01:22:04,754 --> 01:22:07,007 - Come on. - Good luck, Dusty. 1946 01:22:07,424 --> 01:22:09,092 What? No, no, you gotta come. 1947 01:22:09,759 --> 01:22:13,638 It's just... I can't see Sara after what I said. 1948 01:22:13,722 --> 01:22:15,849 Sara loves you, Brad. All right? I know just what to say to her. 1949 01:22:15,932 --> 01:22:17,684 You just stand there and look lost without her. 1950 01:22:17,767 --> 01:22:19,936 - I am lost without her. - Well, that's good. Then let's go. 1951 01:22:20,061 --> 01:22:22,731 - But I look terrible. - Yeah, you do. Come here. 1952 01:22:22,856 --> 01:22:24,816 - What are you doing? - I'm fixing you up, man. 1953 01:22:27,110 --> 01:22:28,737 Dusty, get your hands out of my pants. 1954 01:22:28,820 --> 01:22:31,114 Calm down. Think I want to touch your little dinky? 1955 01:22:31,197 --> 01:22:32,324 I'm trying to fix you up. 1956 01:22:33,700 --> 01:22:35,035 All right. Let me see. 1957 01:22:37,120 --> 01:22:39,623 Wow. I look great. 1958 01:22:39,706 --> 01:22:41,041 Here you go. 1959 01:22:41,124 --> 01:22:43,126 - That's incredible. - Come on. 1960 01:22:43,418 --> 01:22:45,128 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1961 01:22:49,132 --> 01:22:50,717 SARA: Hey, pumpkin. 1962 01:22:50,800 --> 01:22:54,471 Daddy wanted to be here, I know he did. He just gets... 1963 01:23:07,525 --> 01:23:08,860 Whoa, whoa, whoa... Uh-oh. 1964 01:23:09,069 --> 01:23:10,904 She's doing her arms-folded thing. 1965 01:23:10,987 --> 01:23:15,575 You said she'd smile. Maybe even start a slow clap. 1966 01:23:15,659 --> 01:23:17,243 Don't worry, I got this. Okay? Come on. 1967 01:23:17,994 --> 01:23:21,331 Oh, hey, look, it's the guy that stranded his kids at school. 1968 01:23:21,581 --> 01:23:22,832 And look who he's with. 1969 01:23:22,916 --> 01:23:24,834 Did you get anybody pregnant on your way over here, Brad? 1970 01:23:24,918 --> 01:23:26,002 No, I didn't. 1971 01:23:26,086 --> 01:23:27,587 - DUSTY: Sara, listen... - No! 1972 01:23:27,712 --> 01:23:29,589 - Sara, please. - No. I am not going to listen to you. 1973 01:23:29,673 --> 01:23:32,759 You know what? Your daughter's been sitting there for two hours, heartbroken. 1974 01:23:32,842 --> 01:23:35,178 Sara, I am so sorry... 1975 01:23:35,428 --> 01:23:39,182 Oh, just, please. Will one of you idiots just ask your daughter to dance? 1976 01:23:39,432 --> 01:23:40,767 - Really? - SARA: Yes. 1977 01:23:41,184 --> 01:23:43,770 Neither one of you deserves her, but yes. 1978 01:23:46,523 --> 01:23:48,274 - Go ahead, Dusty. - No, you take the first one. 1979 01:23:48,358 --> 01:23:49,484 You've earned it more than I have. 1980 01:23:49,567 --> 01:23:51,111 Dusty, please, she's your daughter. 1981 01:23:51,194 --> 01:23:52,320 What the hell did I miss? 1982 01:23:53,530 --> 01:23:57,367 I'll tell you what. I'll vouch for you to the kids and I'll take the first dance. 1983 01:23:57,450 --> 01:24:00,036 I'll say my good-byes, and then I'll get out of your hair. 1984 01:24:02,038 --> 01:24:04,541 Wait, wait. When you say "get out of your hair," 1985 01:24:04,624 --> 01:24:06,793 you mean leave, like leave-leave? Tonight? 1986 01:24:06,876 --> 01:24:09,546 Daddy! Brad! The fourth graders are here. 1987 01:24:09,629 --> 01:24:11,381 They're picking on Dylan again. 1988 01:24:11,715 --> 01:24:13,883 That's it. Those little shitheads are dead. 1989 01:24:13,967 --> 01:24:15,093 Where are they? 1990 01:24:16,761 --> 01:24:18,138 DUSTY: Those are the fourth graders? 1991 01:24:18,221 --> 01:24:20,849 - They're girls. - Uh-huh. They're so mean. 1992 01:24:20,974 --> 01:24:22,726 Why are you even here at the Daddy-Daughter Dance? 1993 01:24:22,809 --> 01:24:24,436 Are you a daughter? Are you a girl? 1994 01:24:24,519 --> 01:24:27,564 Are you too scared to take me on without your little friends? 1995 01:24:27,647 --> 01:24:29,232 - Oh, no, he's calling out the big one. - Oh-oh. 1996 01:24:29,315 --> 01:24:30,316 Oh, no, no, no. 1997 01:24:31,568 --> 01:24:32,569 Come on! 1998 01:24:33,111 --> 01:24:34,195 Dylan! 1999 01:24:34,821 --> 01:24:36,156 - (ALL GASPS) - Yes! 2000 01:24:36,406 --> 01:24:39,075 - Dylan, what are you doing? - Did you see? Did you see? 2001 01:24:39,159 --> 01:24:40,618 I punched her in the face, just like you taught me. 2002 01:24:40,702 --> 01:24:42,454 - What? - And then I kicked her right in the nuts. 2003 01:24:42,537 --> 01:24:44,038 You like that, bitch? Huh? 2004 01:24:44,164 --> 01:24:45,804 - No, no, no! - You want some more, bitch? 2005 01:24:45,999 --> 01:24:48,418 Sweetheart, what happened? What's going on here? 2006 01:24:48,501 --> 01:24:50,086 He punched me in the face. 2007 01:24:50,211 --> 01:24:51,921 Then he kicked me in the swimsuit area. 2008 01:24:52,005 --> 01:24:53,840 Then he called me the "B" word. 2009 01:24:53,923 --> 01:24:55,091 Who did, him? 2010 01:24:55,175 --> 01:24:57,051 He did. I saw it. He said they taught him to hit girls. 2011 01:24:57,177 --> 01:24:59,345 No, no. We thought your daughter was a boy. 2012 01:24:59,471 --> 01:25:00,930 - What? - No, what he means is that 2013 01:25:01,014 --> 01:25:02,849 Dylan told us that a fourth grader was picking on him, 2014 01:25:02,932 --> 01:25:04,267 but he didn't tell us it was a girl. 2015 01:25:04,350 --> 01:25:06,770 Yeah, and if you had, we'd have told you it's never okay to hit a girl. 2016 01:25:06,853 --> 01:25:07,937 And that she's probably only bugging you 2017 01:25:08,021 --> 01:25:09,181 because she likes you, buddy. 2018 01:25:09,355 --> 01:25:11,107 I do not like him. 2019 01:25:11,357 --> 01:25:12,776 Oh, I think she likes him. 2020 01:25:12,859 --> 01:25:14,527 Ah, gross, whatever. 2021 01:25:14,652 --> 01:25:15,987 She totally does. 2022 01:25:16,070 --> 01:25:17,405 Are you calling my daughter a whore? 2023 01:25:17,489 --> 01:25:19,115 - What? - They were implying it, Jerry. 2024 01:25:19,199 --> 01:25:20,359 Wait. That's quite a stretch. 2025 01:25:20,617 --> 01:25:22,619 Mrs. Troy, please. I got this. 2026 01:25:22,869 --> 01:25:25,150 Wait, first of all, which one of you two is the kid's dad? 2027 01:25:25,288 --> 01:25:26,372 They both are. 2028 01:25:26,456 --> 01:25:27,540 (GASPS) 2029 01:25:27,624 --> 01:25:29,626 Oh, my gosh. Wow! 2030 01:25:30,043 --> 01:25:33,213 I'm sorry. That's the first time he's ever referred to me as Dad. 2031 01:25:33,880 --> 01:25:35,548 It's something I've wanted to hear for a long time, 2032 01:25:35,673 --> 01:25:37,425 so it's a bit poignant. 2033 01:25:37,509 --> 01:25:39,677 I tend to cry a lot 2034 01:25:40,053 --> 01:25:43,473 when things get emotional. They tease me all the time. 2035 01:25:43,556 --> 01:25:45,308 - I'm actually the stepdad. - Oh, is that right? 2036 01:25:45,391 --> 01:25:46,726 So you're the real dad, huh! 2037 01:25:47,644 --> 01:25:49,354 Hey. You don't want to embarrass yourself, buddy. 2038 01:25:49,437 --> 01:25:51,189 You threatening me now, tough guy? 2039 01:25:51,272 --> 01:25:53,525 - He's threatening you, Jerry. - Nobody's threatening anybody. 2040 01:25:53,650 --> 01:25:55,193 But you're gonna want to back that up, Jerry. 2041 01:25:55,276 --> 01:25:56,820 And you, Squidward tie. Quit being an instigator, 2042 01:25:56,903 --> 01:25:58,543 or I'm gonna have to rap you in the mouth. 2043 01:25:58,571 --> 01:25:59,656 (YELPS) 2044 01:25:59,739 --> 01:26:01,825 Hey, hey, hey. Everyone just calm down. 2045 01:26:01,908 --> 01:26:03,268 We're at the Daddy-Daughter Dance. 2046 01:26:03,368 --> 01:26:05,036 You stay out of it, all right? You don't count! 2047 01:26:05,119 --> 01:26:06,663 I want to talk to the real dad here. 2048 01:26:06,788 --> 01:26:08,915 Hey, Brad here is more of a real dad than any of us. 2049 01:26:08,998 --> 01:26:10,583 You ever want to see how you should be raising your kids, 2050 01:26:10,667 --> 01:26:11,751 go look at this guy. 2051 01:26:12,502 --> 01:26:15,171 Here I go again. What did I tell you? 2052 01:26:15,839 --> 01:26:18,842 - Really? You mean that? - Yes, I do, Brad. 2053 01:26:18,925 --> 01:26:20,009 You're a great dad. 2054 01:26:20,635 --> 01:26:22,136 (ALL GASPING) 2055 01:26:23,263 --> 01:26:24,389 - Like that? - You shouldn't have done that. 2056 01:26:24,472 --> 01:26:25,640 Yeah? Why? 2057 01:26:25,723 --> 01:26:27,403 I'm pretty sure he kills people for a job. 2058 01:26:27,684 --> 01:26:31,020 He's been rather vague with me, but that's what I'm kind of surmising. 2059 01:26:31,187 --> 01:26:32,730 - Are we gonna do this? - DUSTY: Oh, we're gonna do it. 2060 01:26:32,814 --> 01:26:34,357 - Okay. You ready? - DUSTY: Yeah, I'm ready. 2061 01:26:34,440 --> 01:26:36,109 - This is what you get. - MEGAN: Daddy. 2062 01:26:37,485 --> 01:26:39,654 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 2063 01:26:46,786 --> 01:26:48,121 Want another one? Come on in. 2064 01:26:51,457 --> 01:26:52,625 What's going on? 2065 01:26:55,295 --> 01:26:56,754 Is this like some UFC shit? 2066 01:26:56,880 --> 01:26:57,881 DUSTY: Come on, Brad. 2067 01:26:57,964 --> 01:26:59,324 That's right. It's a dance, Jerry. 2068 01:26:59,382 --> 01:27:01,718 Yeah. So dance, Jerry! 2069 01:27:06,723 --> 01:27:09,976 Yeah! You just got served, Jerry! 2070 01:27:10,059 --> 01:27:11,895 You just got a piping hot serving. 2071 01:27:11,978 --> 01:27:14,689 I'm not getting served. You're getting served! 2072 01:27:14,772 --> 01:27:18,234 You don't know this about me, Jerry, but I like to move my body. 2073 01:27:19,861 --> 01:27:21,529 Get it, Brad! 2074 01:27:23,489 --> 01:27:25,366 (ALL CLAPPING RHYTHMICALLY) 2075 01:27:27,160 --> 01:27:28,578 Yeah! Yeah, Brad! 2076 01:27:32,749 --> 01:27:34,584 This is a dance! Let's go! 2077 01:27:39,380 --> 01:27:41,257 (ALL CHEERING) 2078 01:27:47,138 --> 01:27:48,139 (LAUGHING) 2079 01:27:52,685 --> 01:27:54,520 Am I the only one with my shirt off? 2080 01:27:56,773 --> 01:27:58,274 You know you can't leave, right? 2081 01:27:58,691 --> 01:27:59,692 You want me to stay? 2082 01:27:59,817 --> 01:28:02,278 These guys are growing up so fast. You don't want to miss it. 2083 01:28:03,780 --> 01:28:05,365 You're sweating profusely. 2084 01:28:05,615 --> 01:28:07,951 - I know. I sweat a lot. - That's cool. 2085 01:28:09,953 --> 01:28:11,037 Thank you. 2086 01:28:43,903 --> 01:28:45,613 BRAD: So Dusty did stay. 2087 01:28:46,239 --> 01:28:47,699 And with the huge amount of money 2088 01:28:47,782 --> 01:28:49,659 he was making as the voice of The Panda, 2089 01:28:49,742 --> 01:28:51,035 he built his own new castle 2090 01:28:51,119 --> 01:28:52,620 right down the street. 2091 01:28:53,746 --> 01:28:54,914 Hey! 2092 01:28:55,540 --> 01:28:58,418 But we kept Tumor because he didn't get along with Dusty's new puppy. 2093 01:28:58,501 --> 01:29:00,837 (WHIMPERING) 2094 01:29:00,920 --> 01:29:02,922 It turns out Tumor was only five... 2095 01:29:03,214 --> 01:29:04,674 - (TUMOR GROWLING) - ...so we're going to have him 2096 01:29:04,757 --> 01:29:06,384 for a long, long time. 2097 01:29:06,592 --> 01:29:08,511 - BRAD: Tumor! - (DOOR BELL RINGING) 2098 01:29:08,761 --> 01:29:10,430 And I was more than a little surprised 2099 01:29:10,555 --> 01:29:13,558 when Dusty showed up one day with his new wife 2100 01:29:14,267 --> 01:29:15,435 and his new stepdaughter. 2101 01:29:15,727 --> 01:29:17,395 This is my stepdaughter, Adriana. 2102 01:29:17,478 --> 01:29:19,198 - Hey, Adriana. I'm Brad. - Want to go play? 2103 01:29:19,605 --> 01:29:21,482 That's your brother and sister. You guys play nice, okay? 2104 01:29:21,566 --> 01:29:22,859 Hey, hon. Who's at the door? 2105 01:29:22,942 --> 01:29:24,694 Oh, hey, Sara. This is my wife, Karen. 2106 01:29:24,777 --> 01:29:26,446 Oh, is it... Your wife? 2107 01:29:26,946 --> 01:29:30,533 SARA: That Karen, wow, she is so great. 2108 01:29:30,616 --> 01:29:32,160 It turns out she's 2109 01:29:32,285 --> 01:29:35,747 a doctor and a celebrated novelist. I mean... 2110 01:29:36,289 --> 01:29:37,457 Hon, would you... 2111 01:29:37,790 --> 01:29:41,294 - Come here, Griff. Come here, Griff. Oh! - KAREN: He's so cute. 2112 01:29:41,794 --> 01:29:45,173 SARA: And I was so surprised when I found out that we're the same age. 2113 01:29:46,132 --> 01:29:48,301 I mean, she looks so young, right? 2114 01:29:48,926 --> 01:29:50,053 Good for her! 2115 01:29:50,136 --> 01:29:52,055 Honey, you look amazing tonight. 2116 01:29:52,138 --> 01:29:53,578 (LAUGHS) What are you talking about? 2117 01:29:53,639 --> 01:29:55,975 It's just my normal clothes. That's how I look. 2118 01:29:56,059 --> 01:29:57,727 I just got ready really fast. 2119 01:29:58,227 --> 01:30:00,104 Hey, Griff. Hey, little Griffy. 2120 01:30:00,229 --> 01:30:01,397 You want to come to Daddy? 2121 01:30:01,481 --> 01:30:03,316 What, you think I'm going to pick his pockets or something? 2122 01:30:03,399 --> 01:30:04,984 - BRAD: No. - He doesn't carry a wallet. 2123 01:30:05,068 --> 01:30:06,736 Oh, sweetie, be careful with that knife, okay? 2124 01:30:06,819 --> 01:30:07,820 You're not my dad. 2125 01:30:08,905 --> 01:30:09,906 DUSTY: Brad was right. 2126 01:30:09,989 --> 01:30:11,574 Being a stepdad isn't always easy. 2127 01:30:11,824 --> 01:30:14,077 But he was also right that it's worth it. 2128 01:30:14,243 --> 01:30:16,412 And he was right about the Ford Flex, too. 2129 01:30:16,579 --> 01:30:18,081 It's a great family car. 2130 01:30:18,164 --> 01:30:21,334 Got plenty of room for the kids, gear, and plenty of pickup for me. 2131 01:30:21,501 --> 01:30:23,002 I got the Weekender package. 2132 01:30:23,086 --> 01:30:24,921 A few more bells and whistles than Brad's, 2133 01:30:25,088 --> 01:30:26,672 but Brad doesn't need to know that. 2134 01:30:27,006 --> 01:30:28,091 (MOTORCYCLE APPROACHING) 2135 01:30:28,174 --> 01:30:29,175 (GASPS) Daddy! 2136 01:30:31,511 --> 01:30:33,346 Sweetie, I've been waiting for you to... 2137 01:30:35,681 --> 01:30:37,683 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 2138 01:30:52,281 --> 01:30:54,617 - Did you just gulp? - No. 2139 01:30:54,951 --> 01:30:55,952 I heard a gulp. 2140 01:30:56,119 --> 01:30:57,453 DUSTY: (STAMMERS) Well, a little bit, maybe. 2141 01:30:57,787 --> 01:30:58,955 - BRAD: Sure. - There you are. 2142 01:30:59,288 --> 01:31:00,623 BRAD: He's a lot bigger than you. 2143 01:31:00,957 --> 01:31:03,292 He's got legs for arms. 2144 01:31:03,626 --> 01:31:05,128 Little star, guess what? 2145 01:31:05,378 --> 01:31:07,046 I like him. I like him a lot. 2146 01:31:07,296 --> 01:31:09,298 Yeah. I bet you he's going to like us, too. 2147 01:31:09,549 --> 01:31:10,800 - BRAD: Remember, Loving Fence. - DUSTY: Yeah. 2148 01:31:10,883 --> 01:31:11,968 BRAD: Just go say hi. 2149 01:31:12,301 --> 01:31:14,971 Yeah, look, I got this, buddy. Watch. 2150 01:31:15,429 --> 01:31:16,722 Hey. You must be Roger. 2151 01:31:16,889 --> 01:31:17,974 Nope. 2152 01:34:22,908 --> 01:34:24,618 (TUNING RADIO) 2153 01:34:24,702 --> 01:34:27,330 DUSTY: (SINGING) One-oh-three-point-six 2154 01:34:27,413 --> 01:34:29,582 The Panda! 2155 01:34:29,707 --> 01:34:32,835 JASON SINCLAIR: Caught Kenny G. at the United Center this weekend. 2156 01:34:32,918 --> 01:34:34,337 Man, can that guy put on a show. 2157 01:34:34,420 --> 01:34:37,506 20,000 people on their feet for the entire four hours. 2158 01:34:37,590 --> 01:34:38,841 You're listening to Jason Sinclair. 2159 01:34:38,924 --> 01:34:40,217 This is The Panda. 2160 01:34:40,301 --> 01:34:43,012 (SMOOTH JAZZ PLAYING) 2161 01:34:50,220 --> 01:35:00,660 For more new Movies go to xPau.se